All My Posts About Inventory
20 December, 2012
Over the years I've written quite a few posts about inventory control-- including the two just before this post. Some are serious, some just wacky.
Here's a list:
Semi-Serious
17 December, 2012 Inventory Control, Part II
16 December, 2012 Inventory Control, Part I
19 March, 2012 I Found it in the Sock Drawer
23 October, 2008 Inventory Control, Revisited
23 October, 2008 Inventory: Some Hints for Management
3 September, 2008 Inventory Count: 17,363
1 December, 2007 Working on Inventory
8 March, 2007 Inventory Control
Just Plain Wacky
16 February, 2009 When Interventions Go Wrong: II. The Hearing Continues
12 February, 2009 When Interventions Go Wrong: I. The Competency Hearing
10 February, 2009 Intervention!
9 February, 2009 Sweetie's Inventory Malfunction
7 February, 2009 Inventory Obsessive Disorder
4 April, 2007 Inventory Leak
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Monday, December 17, 2012
Inventory Control: Part II
Inventory Control
Part II
Written 17 December, 2012
What was I saying?
Oh, yes. So, by using the inventory search filters you can seek and destroy unwanted scripts, landmarks, sounds, gestures, animations, and notecards. Terms like about, unpack, open, rez, and thank will root them out. If you're a big shopper, you'll be surprised how many will turn up.
Oh! And search bald. You might find hundreds of bald caps. You need only one.
Although there WAS that one time my one and only bald cap went rogue.
Type float, too, as it will show all those floating text scripts in the boxes you bought. And new script, and delete, free, invitation, join, t-shirt
Part II
Written 17 December, 2012
What was I saying?
Oh, yes. So, by using the inventory search filters you can seek and destroy unwanted scripts, landmarks, sounds, gestures, animations, and notecards. Terms like about, unpack, open, rez, and thank will root them out. If you're a big shopper, you'll be surprised how many will turn up.
Oh! And search bald. You might find hundreds of bald caps. You need only one.
Although there WAS that one time my one and only bald cap went rogue.
Type float, too, as it will show all those floating text scripts in the boxes you bought. And new script, and delete, free, invitation, join, t-shirt
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Inventory Control: Part I
 |
| Chey's Prim Storage |
Part I
Written 16 December, 2012
There are a lot of people walking around Second Life with more than 100,000 items in their inventory. I could easily be one of them, but I've worked hard to keep my count under control-- not all that easy when one owns several sims and does a lot of building, both of which tend to make one acquire a lot of inventory.
When inventory count goes high, searching takes longer and it's said (I don't know if it's true, but it's popularly believed) the entire Second Life experience is degraded. Even if it's not true, certainly most of us don't need all that clutter.
If your inventory count is high and you would like to lower it, here are some things you can do:
Friday, November 9, 2012
Leveraged Buyout: Part XV. Postscript
Leveraged Buyout
Part XV: Postscript
Written 9 November, 2012
Sweetie and I were lounging on towels on a secluded beach on Whimsy Kaboom, watching birds fly and listening to the sound of the surf as the sun slowly set.
"You made a big mistake in your blog," she said.
"I did? What"
"You put spy scripts in Taggmasster 2000's tie pin and cufflinks." she said.
"And?"
"You should have put them in his ox-horn helmet and bear tooth necklace," she said.
"Well, at least I got the prim penis part right," I said.
"Ewww!" Sweetie said.
"Too bad we weren't able to use our idea about his deep voice being due to a voice changer," I said. "I was looking forward to humiliating him at the board meeting."
"Having a revolt on his sims was better," Sweetie said.
"Yeah," I said, "but I still wish we could have worked in the voice changer."
"It's hardly like we plot out these posts," Sweetie said.
"Shhh!" I said. "My readers might be listening." I turned out the light.
After a while Sweetie said, "You heard the latest?"
I turned the light back on. "On Tagg? No."
"I was out shopping and one of the stores had Sleezy's news magazine running. Now he's homeless and on the run from all those angry panthers, and now that his daddy's attempted coup of America failed, he's claiming religious discrimination. He says his Gorean world view causes women to abuse him. He's working a lawsuit against the panthers, and maybe us."
"What, for making fun of him in my blog?"
"Yes," she said.
"Is Gor a religion" I asked.
Sweetie yawned. "Good question. Can someone just make up a religion and get away with it?"
"It worked for Joseph Smith," I said, "but I don't think anyone else will be finding gold tablets in a field. Forensic technology has come a long way."
"Tagg and his friends should have picked a better science fiction author than John Norman," Sweetie said. "His books are terrible. He couldn't write his way out of a paper bag."
"Well, L. Ron Hubbard was already taken."
Sweetie rolled over onto an elbow. "Why can't there be a Ray Bradbury cult?" she mused.
Part XV: Postscript
Written 9 November, 2012
Sweetie and I were lounging on towels on a secluded beach on Whimsy Kaboom, watching birds fly and listening to the sound of the surf as the sun slowly set.
"You made a big mistake in your blog," she said.
"I did? What"
"You put spy scripts in Taggmasster 2000's tie pin and cufflinks." she said.
"And?"
"You should have put them in his ox-horn helmet and bear tooth necklace," she said.
"Well, at least I got the prim penis part right," I said.
"Ewww!" Sweetie said.
"Too bad we weren't able to use our idea about his deep voice being due to a voice changer," I said. "I was looking forward to humiliating him at the board meeting."
"Having a revolt on his sims was better," Sweetie said.
"Yeah," I said, "but I still wish we could have worked in the voice changer."
"It's hardly like we plot out these posts," Sweetie said.
"Shhh!" I said. "My readers might be listening." I turned out the light.
After a while Sweetie said, "You heard the latest?"
I turned the light back on. "On Tagg? No."
"I was out shopping and one of the stores had Sleezy's news magazine running. Now he's homeless and on the run from all those angry panthers, and now that his daddy's attempted coup of America failed, he's claiming religious discrimination. He says his Gorean world view causes women to abuse him. He's working a lawsuit against the panthers, and maybe us."
"What, for making fun of him in my blog?"
"Yes," she said.
"Is Gor a religion" I asked.
Sweetie yawned. "Good question. Can someone just make up a religion and get away with it?"
"It worked for Joseph Smith," I said, "but I don't think anyone else will be finding gold tablets in a field. Forensic technology has come a long way."
"Tagg and his friends should have picked a better science fiction author than John Norman," Sweetie said. "His books are terrible. He couldn't write his way out of a paper bag."
"Well, L. Ron Hubbard was already taken."
Sweetie rolled over onto an elbow. "Why can't there be a Ray Bradbury cult?" she mused.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Leveraged Buyout: Part XIIV. Denoument
The following is the transcript of the official Whimsy court reporter, the Whimsy Swear Jar. It hasn't been changed in any way.
Part XIIV: Denoument
Written 6 November, 2012
Sweetie, Dakota, and I were lying on the lounging rug at our House of 1000 Pleasures.
"Sweetie, you were brilliant!" Dakota said.
"Thanks, Dakota. So were you. But how did the covenant get changed back?"
"Oh, I'm a black hat. I've been with Anonymous these past couple of years. It took a while, but I got past Whimsy's firewall and replaced Tagg's doctored covenant with the original. Thank goodness, it was among the old lady clothes Chey gave me to hold for her."
I said, "Those. Were. Not. Old. Lady. Clothes."
"Whatever," Dakota said. She knows saying whatever just pisses me off.
"It's good to see you back on the grid, Dakota," Sweetie said. "What will you do now?"
"I don't know. I'm going to take Chey up on her offer to take me shopping, though. My look is outdated. Last time I was out someone inspected me and laughed at the creation date of my clothes. And then I suppose I'll go back in the box until Chey needs me again."
"Which may be never," I said through my teeth.
"The life of an alt, huh?" said Sweetie. "They forget about you until it's handy to rez you."
"Pretty much. Sweetie. You know, I can't get over Sleezy turning on Whimsy like that."
"Oh, she's just jealous of me. You see, the difference between us is she's a narcissist. I'm an egoist. She wants to look good so the world will revolve around her. I know the world will revolve around me no matter how I look. She doesn't understand the distinction."
"I should ban her," I said.
"No need," Sweetie said. "She won't be back unless we have another crisis to boost her career."
"Heaven forbid," I said.
"Well, I'm off to go shopping," Dakota said.
"Last time I looked," I said, "you had $3L. That won't go far."
"Oh, not to worry. I have $20,000L."
Sweetie snorted and rolled over laughing.
"Oh no, you don't!" I said. "That's my money."
"I'm considering it compensation for a job well done," Dakota said. "And besides, you promised." She teleported away before I could respond.
"You did promise," said Sweetie.
"Fine," I said. "I'll just eat Ramen noodles all month so I can make my tier to Linden Lab."
"Well, there are plenty of pineapples and coconuts here on Whimsy," Sweetie said. "which wouldn't have been the case if Taggmasster 2000 had gotten his way."
"I'll make it through somehow," I said, "but I'm already craving a Big Mac."
"Well, just snuggle up to me," she said. "I'll make it all better."
Leveraged Buyout: Part XIII. The Board Meeting, Part II
The following is the transcript of the official Whimsy court reporter, the Whimsy Swear Jar. It hasn't been changed in any way.
Leveraged Buyout
Part XIII: The Board Meeting, Part II
Written 5 November, 2012
Dakota Burns: I call the meeting back to order.
Taggmasster 2000: I'd like to talk about the plan Eremalos will implement if this board is so kind as to give us control of Whimsy.
Dakota Burns: Oh, why not!?
Sweetie: Ooh, an interrobang! I love interrobangs!
Taggmasster 2000: Let me just start this short movie. Oh, it won't play! Who disabled scripts on this sim?
Dakota Burns: I've turned off scripts to make sure you don't sneak more spyware into your jewelry and, erm, part.
Taggmasster 2000: Dear board, please pretend the movie is running. Eremalos Capital is in control of the sim. As grandiose music plays we see a crystal city, filled with tall spires-- the working heart of the capitalistic sim known as Tagg 17-- er, Whimsy. A great hotel sits atop the volcano Pele, the lava pit visible through the transparent glass floor of a grand ballroom.
Judge Camper. I have a sudden craving for popcorn.
Taggmasster 2000: At the base of the mountain we see kajira huts, and beyond on the absolutely flat plain we see 512 square meter plots where hundreds of avatars are happy to pay rent to rez their sad little homes and pose balls. Above, in the sky there's a grand floating mall where Second Life's best designers sell their wares-- skins, hair, shoes, vehicles, and mesh loincloths. We-- damn! The film broke!
Whimsy Swear Jar: You just spoke a dirty word, Taggmasster 2000. Please pay me $25L. You now owe me $25L.
Sweetie: And how will this grand city be financed, Taggmasster? With funds from Eremalos Capital?
Taggmasster 2000: Oh, no! We've already invested. We'll hold a sim-wide yard sale to sell off Whimsy's many prims and the contents of Ms. Palisades voluminous inventory. We'll sell her lucrative jewelry business and sell the robot sanatorium to a group of Battlestar Galactica role players-- they're already showing interest. We'll pre-sell pre-fab condos and give renters a big discount for paying six months in advance.
Sweetie: And you'll use the proceeds to pay Whimsy's tier?
Taggmasster 2000: Oh, no. You see, our contract expires on November 21st.
Dakota Burns: Why so soon?
Sweetie: Because Whimsy's tier is due on the 22nd. That's why!
Dakota Burns: So you'll leave behind a healthy sim with funds enough to pay the tier?
Taggmasster 2000: We will of course pay ourselves a moderate fee for our consultation and management services.
Sweetie: And what will be the balance upon your departure?
Taggmasster 2000: Uh, let's see here... approximately... I have it here somewhere... zero Lindens.
Dakota Burns: So you'll leave us with no money and a $300 USD tier payment due?
Taggmasster 2000: Yes, brilliant, isn't it?
Dakota Burns: But where did the-- where will the money go?
Taggmasster 2000: I told you there would be management fees.
Sweetie: Let's get this straight-- You already have more than $20,000L of Cheyenne's money. You'll have the proceeds from selling all the prims on Whimsy and the 32,000 items in Cheyenne's inventory--
Taggmasster 2000: That reminds me-- Ms. Burns, we'll be wanting those old lady clothes you're holding for Ms. Palisades. They should move well in the yard sale.
Sweetie: Our residents have paid their tier for the month and yet they'll be unceremoniously moved out of their homes and you'll set up hundreds of small plots and rent them-- and you'll rent space to merchants for your floating mall.
Taggmaster 2000: Accurate so far.
Sweetie: You'll sell Chey's jewelry business and the robot sanatorium. And then, the day before tier is due you'll leave, taking all the money with you.
Taggmaster 2000: That's it in a nutshell. I told you it was brilliant!
Sweetie: And who else thinks this is a good idea?
Dakota Burns: Three hands are raised-- Taggmasster, Judge Camper, and Sleezy Spinoza. Judge, your vote doesn't count. So two in favor, and Sleezy, how could you? Those opposed? Myself and Sweetie. It's tied, two to two.
Taggmasster 2000: So it will all come down to those proxies, won't it?
Sweetie: I think they're fake.
Taggmasster 2000: But you can't prove it.
Sweetie: No. But we have an alternate vision. Our renters will continue to enjoy lovely sunrises and enjoy Whimsy's many amenities. Visitors will enjoy the beaches, the underwater area, the gardens, the train, and the Robot Sanatorium will continue to provide care for the many malfunctioning mechanoids of the Metaverse. And Cheyenne will be allowed back on the sim-- provisionally.
Dakota Burns: I won't bother to call the vote. It will be two to two. As for the proxies, I took the time during our break to get in touch with Chey's renters. Two were unavailable, but the others denied having given Tagg their proxies. As for the prims and scripts, not even one replied to my query. I'm sure they didn't reply to Taggmasster either. Upon advice of counsel, I'm throwing the lot out. That means we're stalemated.
Judge Camper: Not so fast! I took the liberty during the break to rez a prim. So I'm now eligible, and I vote with my client. His vision carries over Sweetie and Chey's vision! We now have to call a vote of the shareholders.
Dakota Burns: Don't tell me how to do my job, Camper. We will now have a vote of the shareholders. As Cheyenne's proxy I vote now with her 12,542 shares. I say Nay.
Sweetie: I vote Nay with my 1451 prims.
Dakota Burns: That's 13993 against.
Sleezy Spinoza: As a reporter I must remain objective. I and my one share abstain from this vote.
Dakota Burns: Too damn bad you didn't abstain before.
Whimsy Swear Jar: You just spoke a dirty word, DAKOTA BURNS. Please pay me $25L. You now owe me $L175.
Judge Camper: I and my one share vote Aye.
Taggmasster 2000: I and my 50,000 shares vote Aye.
Dakota Burns: Proposal carri-- wait a minute! How do you come up with 50,000 shares?
Taggmasster 2000: We contacted the intersim prim banking authority and borrowed 50,000 additional prims for Whimsy.
Sweetie: You can't do that!
Taggmasster 2000: You can if you're me! And check the covenant. You'll see it suddenly says borrowed prims count.
Dakota Burns: Do I have to say motion carries?
Taggmasster 2000: Yes, you do.
Dakota Burns: Very well then. Motion--
Judge Camper: Tagg, you're gonna want to listen to this. Sleezy has gone on the air.
Sleezy Spinoza: We're here on Whimsy again as the board meeting to determine the sim's fate continues. It looks as if Taggmasster's 2000's proposal to stupidscape Whimsy is about to carry. But we break to bring you this exclusive report. Trouble is brewing on the Gorean sims Tagg 1 through Tagg 16. Liberated kajirae, working with the panther minority, have seized control in a bloody coup and are declaring a new nation-state to be called Feminiland.
Taggmasster 2000: What?!!!
Sweetie: Ooh, triple interrobang!
Taggmasster 2000: This can't be happening!
Sleezy Spinoza: The rebels aren't saying who supplied them with the fruitcake cannons and exploding lipsticks they needed for the takeover, but they and their sister nation-state of Whimsy have already established diplomatic ties. Feminiland has issued a fatwah for their former leader, one Taggmasster 2000, who is also wanted by Linden authorities for the unauthorized "borrowing" of some 50,000 prims.
Taggmasster 2000: I wish Dad had been here. He's so much better at this than me. I think I should leave now.
Dakota Burns: Taggmasster, upon re-reading the Whimsy covenant I see no reference whatsoever to Whimsy having issued any shares. This sim clearly belongs to Cheyenne Palisades and you have no business here whatsoever. Judge Camper, you are to immediately rescind the restraining order on Ms. Palisades and you are to issue one for yourself. If we catch you here again we'll feed you to Callie, our giant patrolling sea serpent. And that goes for you too, Tagg! Wait, don't run away so fast! You owe the swear jar $25L.
Sweetie: Too late, Dakota. He's gone.
Dakota Burns: Judge Camper, before you issue that restraining order on yourself, issue an arrest warrant for Taggmasster.
Sleezy Spinoza: And there you have it, viewers, the exciting conclusion to the attempted leveraged buyout of Whimsy by the Eremalos Capital Group.
Whimsy Swear Jar: Thank you, DAKOTA BURNS, for your payment. We are now even. Please watch your mouth.
Leveraged Buyout
Part XIII: The Board Meeting, Part II
Written 5 November, 2012
Dakota Burns: I call the meeting back to order.
Taggmasster 2000: I'd like to talk about the plan Eremalos will implement if this board is so kind as to give us control of Whimsy.
Dakota Burns: Oh, why not!?
Sweetie: Ooh, an interrobang! I love interrobangs!
Taggmasster 2000: Let me just start this short movie. Oh, it won't play! Who disabled scripts on this sim?
Dakota Burns: I've turned off scripts to make sure you don't sneak more spyware into your jewelry and, erm, part.
Taggmasster 2000: Dear board, please pretend the movie is running. Eremalos Capital is in control of the sim. As grandiose music plays we see a crystal city, filled with tall spires-- the working heart of the capitalistic sim known as Tagg 17-- er, Whimsy. A great hotel sits atop the volcano Pele, the lava pit visible through the transparent glass floor of a grand ballroom.
Judge Camper. I have a sudden craving for popcorn.
Taggmasster 2000: At the base of the mountain we see kajira huts, and beyond on the absolutely flat plain we see 512 square meter plots where hundreds of avatars are happy to pay rent to rez their sad little homes and pose balls. Above, in the sky there's a grand floating mall where Second Life's best designers sell their wares-- skins, hair, shoes, vehicles, and mesh loincloths. We-- damn! The film broke!
Whimsy Swear Jar: You just spoke a dirty word, Taggmasster 2000. Please pay me $25L. You now owe me $25L.
Sweetie: And how will this grand city be financed, Taggmasster? With funds from Eremalos Capital?
Taggmasster 2000: Oh, no! We've already invested. We'll hold a sim-wide yard sale to sell off Whimsy's many prims and the contents of Ms. Palisades voluminous inventory. We'll sell her lucrative jewelry business and sell the robot sanatorium to a group of Battlestar Galactica role players-- they're already showing interest. We'll pre-sell pre-fab condos and give renters a big discount for paying six months in advance.
Sweetie: And you'll use the proceeds to pay Whimsy's tier?
Taggmasster 2000: Oh, no. You see, our contract expires on November 21st.
Dakota Burns: Why so soon?
Sweetie: Because Whimsy's tier is due on the 22nd. That's why!
Dakota Burns: So you'll leave behind a healthy sim with funds enough to pay the tier?
Taggmasster 2000: We will of course pay ourselves a moderate fee for our consultation and management services.
Sweetie: And what will be the balance upon your departure?
Taggmasster 2000: Uh, let's see here... approximately... I have it here somewhere... zero Lindens.
Dakota Burns: So you'll leave us with no money and a $300 USD tier payment due?
Taggmasster 2000: Yes, brilliant, isn't it?
Dakota Burns: But where did the-- where will the money go?
Taggmasster 2000: I told you there would be management fees.
Sweetie: Let's get this straight-- You already have more than $20,000L of Cheyenne's money. You'll have the proceeds from selling all the prims on Whimsy and the 32,000 items in Cheyenne's inventory--
Taggmasster 2000: That reminds me-- Ms. Burns, we'll be wanting those old lady clothes you're holding for Ms. Palisades. They should move well in the yard sale.
Sweetie: Our residents have paid their tier for the month and yet they'll be unceremoniously moved out of their homes and you'll set up hundreds of small plots and rent them-- and you'll rent space to merchants for your floating mall.
Taggmaster 2000: Accurate so far.
Sweetie: You'll sell Chey's jewelry business and the robot sanatorium. And then, the day before tier is due you'll leave, taking all the money with you.
Taggmaster 2000: That's it in a nutshell. I told you it was brilliant!
Sweetie: And who else thinks this is a good idea?
Dakota Burns: Three hands are raised-- Taggmasster, Judge Camper, and Sleezy Spinoza. Judge, your vote doesn't count. So two in favor, and Sleezy, how could you? Those opposed? Myself and Sweetie. It's tied, two to two.
Taggmasster 2000: So it will all come down to those proxies, won't it?
Sweetie: I think they're fake.
Taggmasster 2000: But you can't prove it.
Sweetie: No. But we have an alternate vision. Our renters will continue to enjoy lovely sunrises and enjoy Whimsy's many amenities. Visitors will enjoy the beaches, the underwater area, the gardens, the train, and the Robot Sanatorium will continue to provide care for the many malfunctioning mechanoids of the Metaverse. And Cheyenne will be allowed back on the sim-- provisionally.
Dakota Burns: I won't bother to call the vote. It will be two to two. As for the proxies, I took the time during our break to get in touch with Chey's renters. Two were unavailable, but the others denied having given Tagg their proxies. As for the prims and scripts, not even one replied to my query. I'm sure they didn't reply to Taggmasster either. Upon advice of counsel, I'm throwing the lot out. That means we're stalemated.
Judge Camper: Not so fast! I took the liberty during the break to rez a prim. So I'm now eligible, and I vote with my client. His vision carries over Sweetie and Chey's vision! We now have to call a vote of the shareholders.
Dakota Burns: Don't tell me how to do my job, Camper. We will now have a vote of the shareholders. As Cheyenne's proxy I vote now with her 12,542 shares. I say Nay.
Sweetie: I vote Nay with my 1451 prims.
Dakota Burns: That's 13993 against.
Sleezy Spinoza: As a reporter I must remain objective. I and my one share abstain from this vote.
Dakota Burns: Too damn bad you didn't abstain before.
Whimsy Swear Jar: You just spoke a dirty word, DAKOTA BURNS. Please pay me $25L. You now owe me $L175.
Judge Camper: I and my one share vote Aye.
Taggmasster 2000: I and my 50,000 shares vote Aye.
Dakota Burns: Proposal carri-- wait a minute! How do you come up with 50,000 shares?
Taggmasster 2000: We contacted the intersim prim banking authority and borrowed 50,000 additional prims for Whimsy.
Sweetie: You can't do that!
Taggmasster 2000: You can if you're me! And check the covenant. You'll see it suddenly says borrowed prims count.
Dakota Burns: Do I have to say motion carries?
Taggmasster 2000: Yes, you do.
Dakota Burns: Very well then. Motion--
Judge Camper: Tagg, you're gonna want to listen to this. Sleezy has gone on the air.
Sleezy Spinoza: We're here on Whimsy again as the board meeting to determine the sim's fate continues. It looks as if Taggmasster's 2000's proposal to stupidscape Whimsy is about to carry. But we break to bring you this exclusive report. Trouble is brewing on the Gorean sims Tagg 1 through Tagg 16. Liberated kajirae, working with the panther minority, have seized control in a bloody coup and are declaring a new nation-state to be called Feminiland.
Taggmasster 2000: What?!!!
Sweetie: Ooh, triple interrobang!
Taggmasster 2000: This can't be happening!
Sleezy Spinoza: The rebels aren't saying who supplied them with the fruitcake cannons and exploding lipsticks they needed for the takeover, but they and their sister nation-state of Whimsy have already established diplomatic ties. Feminiland has issued a fatwah for their former leader, one Taggmasster 2000, who is also wanted by Linden authorities for the unauthorized "borrowing" of some 50,000 prims.
Taggmasster 2000: I wish Dad had been here. He's so much better at this than me. I think I should leave now.
Dakota Burns: Taggmasster, upon re-reading the Whimsy covenant I see no reference whatsoever to Whimsy having issued any shares. This sim clearly belongs to Cheyenne Palisades and you have no business here whatsoever. Judge Camper, you are to immediately rescind the restraining order on Ms. Palisades and you are to issue one for yourself. If we catch you here again we'll feed you to Callie, our giant patrolling sea serpent. And that goes for you too, Tagg! Wait, don't run away so fast! You owe the swear jar $25L.
Sweetie: Too late, Dakota. He's gone.
Dakota Burns: Judge Camper, before you issue that restraining order on yourself, issue an arrest warrant for Taggmasster.
Sleezy Spinoza: And there you have it, viewers, the exciting conclusion to the attempted leveraged buyout of Whimsy by the Eremalos Capital Group.
Whimsy Swear Jar: Thank you, DAKOTA BURNS, for your payment. We are now even. Please watch your mouth.
Monday, November 5, 2012
Leveraged Buyout: Part XII. The Board Meeting, Part I
Not Safe for Work
Leveraged Buyout
Part XII: The Board Meeting, Part I
Written 5 November, 2012
Taggmasster 2000: I'd like to call this meeting to order.
Sweetie: Objection! Cheyenne Palisades is owner of this sim and by the covenant she's Chair of this board.
Taggmasster 2000: And yet she's not here.
Dakota Burns: You know why she's not here, you Gorean pimp! You fucking banned her.
Whimsy Swear Jar: You just spoke a dirty word, DAKOTA BURNS. Please pay me $25L. You now owe me $25L.
Dakota Burns: I'm not payin' you, you piece of slabsided pottery!
Whimsy Swear Jar: You just spoke a dirty word, DAKOTA BURNS. Please pay me $25L. You now owe me $50L.
Dakota Burns: What, s-l-a-b-s-i-d-e-d is a swear word now?
Taggmasster 2000: Friends and fellow board members, I object to this pimp insult. I didn't ban Ms. Palisades. I would never stoop so low. She was banned by our legal system due to her violent nature.
Dakota Burns: Oh, no, you don't! The ban has to be lifted so she can attend this travesty of a board meeting.
Judge Camper: My decision is final.
Dakota Burns: Then as I have Ms. Palisades' proxy--"
Taggmasster 2000: I will be happy to serve as interim board chair.
Dakota Burns: STFU, you asshat! I have Chey's proxy and I'm declaring myself chair of this meeting.
Whimsy Swear Jar: You just spoke a dirty word, DAKOTA BURNS. Please pay me $25L. You now owe me $75L.
Dakota Burns: Yeah, but I gotcha by using the acronym for shut the fuck up, didn't I?"
Whimsy Swear Jar: You just spoke a dirty word, DAKOTA BURNS. Please pay me $25L. You now owe me $100L.
Dakota Burns: Dammit!
Whimsy Swear Jar: You just spoke a dirty word, DAKOTA BURNS. Please pay me $25L. You now owe me $125L.
Dakota Burns: Doesn't matter anyway. I have no money to pay you.
Taggmasster 2000: As Ms. Burns is delinquent in her payment to the Whimsy swear jar and by extention to the nation-state of Wimsy, that would rule her ineligible to serve as chair.
Dakota Burns: Sez who?
Sweetie: I will promise to pay the current fees owed by Ms. Burns to Whimsy Estates. I move that pending Ms. Palisades' return her alt Dakota Burns be appointed interim chair.
Dakota Burns: I second that.
Judge Camper. You can't second that, you're the subject of the motion.
Dakota Burns: Then as holder of Chey's proxy I second the motion. I call the vote. All in favor? Opposed? I'm board chair.
Sweetie: Yay!
Dakota Burns: As interim board chair I direct that Judge Camper be removed from the premises due to the fact he owns no stock in Whimsy Estates.
Judge Camper: But I'm counsel to Mr. 2000 and Eramalos Capital Group!
Dakota Burns: Very well, but you have no voting privilege here.
Taggmasster 2000: Then as Cheyenne's attorney of record, Sweetie shouldn't be allowed to vote either.
Dakota Burns: But she does own stock. And if you don't back away from her she'll no doubt cut off your fucking head.
Whimsy Swear Jar: You just spoke a dirty word, DAKOTA BURNS. Please pay me $25L. You now owe me $150L.
Sweetie: Go easy, Dakota. I'm not made of money.
Dakota Burns: Before we proceed, does any one have any cameras, recording devices, or spy scripts?
Sweetie: We all have cameras, Dakota. It's part of the interface.
Dakota Burns: So we do. But I'd better not hear any shutter sounds.
Sweetie: I just scanned Taggmasster 2000. He has spy scripts in his cufflinks, tie clasp and prim penis.
Dakota Burns: Take them off, Tagg, and pass them to Baliff Merlin. Baliff Merlin, remove all scripts and hand the, er, items back to Mr. 2000.
Sweetie: Baliff Merlin! It's so nice to see you! It's been years! And you're a furry now! Who would have guessed!
Dakota Burns: Now let's go around the room so everyone can introduce themselves and tell us why they qualify to be here. I'm Dakota Burns, Ms. Palisades' alt, and I have her proxy. And I think I left a prim here somewhere back in 2008.
Sweetie: I'm Sweetie No-Last-Name and I'm Ms. Palisades' attorney of record and hot girlfriend. I have more than a thousand prims here on Whimsy.
Taggmasster 2000: Hello, everybody. I'm Taggmasster 2000. I represent Eremalos Capital Group. I'm happy to tell you our plans for these sims. First we intend to--
Dakota Burns: Zip it, Tagg. You'll get your turn to speak.
Sleezy Spinoza: Everyone knows who I am. I'm Sleezy Spinoza and I'm here as a representative of the media. Also I had a friend help me rez a prim so I could vote a share. And oh, what fun it was!
Taggmasster 2000: I have the proxy of Whimsy's residents, animals, and scripts.
Dakota Burns: What's that? It did? Oh, that's terrible! Everyone, I'm keeping Chey informed of proceedings through IM. She tells me one of our renters had her beach house flooded by the weather machine we set up to mirror Hurricane Sandy's effect here in Whimsy. She's been too busy to get in world, so Tagg couldn't possibly have her proxy. I'm ruling her and her shares absent.
Taggmasster 2000: Now see here--
Dakota Burns: Pretend I have a gavel. Now pretend I'm banging it. You're out of order, Gorian.
Sweetie: I demand Taggmasster show proof of his proxies.
Taggmasster 2000: Here are signed copies.
Dakota Burns: Well, I'll be a blue-haired freak of nature! He actually has signatures. But wait-- these all seem to be in the same hand.
Taggmasster 2000: Well, they gave them to me electronically.
Dakota Burns: I need to study these. I'm declaring a 30-minute recess. Please don't travel more than 96 meters from this spot or rez any prims during the break.
Sweetie: Objection! Cheyenne Palisades is owner of this sim and by the covenant she's Chair of this board.
Taggmasster 2000: And yet she's not here.
Dakota Burns: You know why she's not here, you Gorean pimp! You fucking banned her.
Whimsy Swear Jar: You just spoke a dirty word, DAKOTA BURNS. Please pay me $25L. You now owe me $25L.
Dakota Burns: I'm not payin' you, you piece of slabsided pottery!
Whimsy Swear Jar: You just spoke a dirty word, DAKOTA BURNS. Please pay me $25L. You now owe me $50L.
Dakota Burns: What, s-l-a-b-s-i-d-e-d is a swear word now?
Taggmasster 2000: Friends and fellow board members, I object to this pimp insult. I didn't ban Ms. Palisades. I would never stoop so low. She was banned by our legal system due to her violent nature.
Dakota Burns: Oh, no, you don't! The ban has to be lifted so she can attend this travesty of a board meeting.
Judge Camper: My decision is final.
Dakota Burns: Then as I have Ms. Palisades' proxy--"
Taggmasster 2000: I will be happy to serve as interim board chair.
Dakota Burns: STFU, you asshat! I have Chey's proxy and I'm declaring myself chair of this meeting.
Whimsy Swear Jar: You just spoke a dirty word, DAKOTA BURNS. Please pay me $25L. You now owe me $75L.
Dakota Burns: Yeah, but I gotcha by using the acronym for shut the fuck up, didn't I?"
Whimsy Swear Jar: You just spoke a dirty word, DAKOTA BURNS. Please pay me $25L. You now owe me $100L.
Dakota Burns: Dammit!
Whimsy Swear Jar: You just spoke a dirty word, DAKOTA BURNS. Please pay me $25L. You now owe me $125L.
Dakota Burns: Doesn't matter anyway. I have no money to pay you.
Taggmasster 2000: As Ms. Burns is delinquent in her payment to the Whimsy swear jar and by extention to the nation-state of Wimsy, that would rule her ineligible to serve as chair.
Dakota Burns: Sez who?
Sweetie: I will promise to pay the current fees owed by Ms. Burns to Whimsy Estates. I move that pending Ms. Palisades' return her alt Dakota Burns be appointed interim chair.
Dakota Burns: I second that.
Judge Camper. You can't second that, you're the subject of the motion.
Dakota Burns: Then as holder of Chey's proxy I second the motion. I call the vote. All in favor? Opposed? I'm board chair.
Sweetie: Yay!
Dakota Burns: As interim board chair I direct that Judge Camper be removed from the premises due to the fact he owns no stock in Whimsy Estates.
Judge Camper: But I'm counsel to Mr. 2000 and Eramalos Capital Group!
Dakota Burns: Very well, but you have no voting privilege here.
Taggmasster 2000: Then as Cheyenne's attorney of record, Sweetie shouldn't be allowed to vote either.
Dakota Burns: But she does own stock. And if you don't back away from her she'll no doubt cut off your fucking head.
Whimsy Swear Jar: You just spoke a dirty word, DAKOTA BURNS. Please pay me $25L. You now owe me $150L.
Sweetie: Go easy, Dakota. I'm not made of money.
Dakota Burns: Before we proceed, does any one have any cameras, recording devices, or spy scripts?
Sweetie: We all have cameras, Dakota. It's part of the interface.
Dakota Burns: So we do. But I'd better not hear any shutter sounds.
Sweetie: I just scanned Taggmasster 2000. He has spy scripts in his cufflinks, tie clasp and prim penis.
Dakota Burns: Take them off, Tagg, and pass them to Baliff Merlin. Baliff Merlin, remove all scripts and hand the, er, items back to Mr. 2000.
Sweetie: Baliff Merlin! It's so nice to see you! It's been years! And you're a furry now! Who would have guessed!
Dakota Burns: Now let's go around the room so everyone can introduce themselves and tell us why they qualify to be here. I'm Dakota Burns, Ms. Palisades' alt, and I have her proxy. And I think I left a prim here somewhere back in 2008.
Sweetie: I'm Sweetie No-Last-Name and I'm Ms. Palisades' attorney of record and hot girlfriend. I have more than a thousand prims here on Whimsy.
Taggmasster 2000: Hello, everybody. I'm Taggmasster 2000. I represent Eremalos Capital Group. I'm happy to tell you our plans for these sims. First we intend to--
Dakota Burns: Zip it, Tagg. You'll get your turn to speak.
Sleezy Spinoza: Everyone knows who I am. I'm Sleezy Spinoza and I'm here as a representative of the media. Also I had a friend help me rez a prim so I could vote a share. And oh, what fun it was!
Taggmasster 2000: I have the proxy of Whimsy's residents, animals, and scripts.
Dakota Burns: What's that? It did? Oh, that's terrible! Everyone, I'm keeping Chey informed of proceedings through IM. She tells me one of our renters had her beach house flooded by the weather machine we set up to mirror Hurricane Sandy's effect here in Whimsy. She's been too busy to get in world, so Tagg couldn't possibly have her proxy. I'm ruling her and her shares absent.
Taggmasster 2000: Now see here--
Dakota Burns: Pretend I have a gavel. Now pretend I'm banging it. You're out of order, Gorian.
Sweetie: I demand Taggmasster show proof of his proxies.
Taggmasster 2000: Here are signed copies.
Dakota Burns: Well, I'll be a blue-haired freak of nature! He actually has signatures. But wait-- these all seem to be in the same hand.
Taggmasster 2000: Well, they gave them to me electronically.
Dakota Burns: I need to study these. I'm declaring a 30-minute recess. Please don't travel more than 96 meters from this spot or rez any prims during the break.
Leveraged Buyout: Part XI. Dakota Here
Leveraged Buyout
Part XI: Dakota Here
Written 5 November, 2012
Dakota Burns here. That's me on the right, above, with Chey, back in 20007.
I've not had money since then to update my look. I have no mesh clothing, or even sculpted clothes. I'm a blue-haired fashion disaster-- but Chey promises to take me shopping if I can save her Whimsy sims. I'll do my best!
Leveraged Buyout: Part X. Banned!
Leveraged Buyout
Part X: Banned!
Written 5 November, 2012
One minute I was lying in bed with Sweetie and the next I was standing on the square at the Ahern Welcome Area!
"Oh, look, another nude newbie!" someone said.
"Where?" I asked, and then realized it was me. I was starkers.
"I'm not a newbie," I said, and tried to put on my emergency starter outfit. Of course, since there were 70 avies on the sim it didn't happen right away.
Looking up, I noticed there were zero Lindens in my account. As it was just after the first of the month, there had been just over $22,000L from Whimsians paying tier. Every month I convert it to dollars to offset part of the cost of the money I pay the Linden for Whimsy. I knew Taggmasster had somehow stolen all my money.
I IMed Sweetie. "Wakie wakey, hon. Did the sim crash?"
She yawned and then said, "Uh, no, I'm still in bed."
"Dammit!" I said, "I've been banned from my own sim!"
"Well, you were in violation of the retraining order."
"A bogus restraining order," I shouted, "and one that should never have been issued in the first place!"
"Calm down," she said. "I'm sure Leaf Shermer will put you up."
"Yeah, but I won't be able to go to the board meeting. Damn that Judge Camper!"
"Want me to cut his head off?" Sweetie asked.
"At the first opportunity," I said.
"I can act as your proxy," she said.
"No," I said. "That would be a conflict of interest because you'll be representing me as my attorney. Can you rush over to one of the law schools and pick up a law degree?"
"No need," Sweetie said. "I have one already."
"Why am I not surprised?" I said. "But are you on the bar?"
"Since Whimsy is at least for the moment an independent nation-state, I can issue myself a license," she said. Then, "I have an idea. You can give Dakota your proxy."
Dakota Burns is my alt. She began life as sacrificial virgin to the volcano goddess Pele, but quickly assumed a personality and life of her own. Besides, Pele doesn't accept human sacrifices.
"Dakota and I aren't on good terms," I said. "The last time we talked I dumped all my transferrable excess inventory on her to hold, and never paid her. She's still complaining about having a wardrobe full of old lady clothes."
"Well," Sweetie said, "don't be so tight. Pay her this time."
"I'll do it," I said, "but I have a bad feeling about this. We have no idea what Dakota has been up to these last few years."
Part X: Banned!
Written 5 November, 2012
One minute I was lying in bed with Sweetie and the next I was standing on the square at the Ahern Welcome Area!
"Oh, look, another nude newbie!" someone said.
"Where?" I asked, and then realized it was me. I was starkers.
"I'm not a newbie," I said, and tried to put on my emergency starter outfit. Of course, since there were 70 avies on the sim it didn't happen right away.
Looking up, I noticed there were zero Lindens in my account. As it was just after the first of the month, there had been just over $22,000L from Whimsians paying tier. Every month I convert it to dollars to offset part of the cost of the money I pay the Linden for Whimsy. I knew Taggmasster had somehow stolen all my money.
I IMed Sweetie. "Wakie wakey, hon. Did the sim crash?"
She yawned and then said, "Uh, no, I'm still in bed."
"Dammit!" I said, "I've been banned from my own sim!"
"Well, you were in violation of the retraining order."
"A bogus restraining order," I shouted, "and one that should never have been issued in the first place!"
"Calm down," she said. "I'm sure Leaf Shermer will put you up."
"Yeah, but I won't be able to go to the board meeting. Damn that Judge Camper!"
"Want me to cut his head off?" Sweetie asked.
"At the first opportunity," I said.
"I can act as your proxy," she said.
"No," I said. "That would be a conflict of interest because you'll be representing me as my attorney. Can you rush over to one of the law schools and pick up a law degree?"
"No need," Sweetie said. "I have one already."
"Why am I not surprised?" I said. "But are you on the bar?"
"Since Whimsy is at least for the moment an independent nation-state, I can issue myself a license," she said. Then, "I have an idea. You can give Dakota your proxy."
Dakota Burns is my alt. She began life as sacrificial virgin to the volcano goddess Pele, but quickly assumed a personality and life of her own. Besides, Pele doesn't accept human sacrifices.
"Dakota and I aren't on good terms," I said. "The last time we talked I dumped all my transferrable excess inventory on her to hold, and never paid her. She's still complaining about having a wardrobe full of old lady clothes."
"Well," Sweetie said, "don't be so tight. Pay her this time."
"I'll do it," I said, "but I have a bad feeling about this. We have no idea what Dakota has been up to these last few years."
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