Monday, February 9, 2009

Sweetie's Inventory Malfunction

Written 7 February, 2009

Sweetie’s Inventory Malfunction

Looking back now, there were signs of Sweetie’s increasing obsession with her inventory. One morning not long ago, I heard her muttering.

Now, you must understand: Sweetie’s mind is always buzzing—literally. Usually, though, it’s little tunes and songs. She’s continually mumbling lyrics and giggling to herself. It’s her normal behavior, so I didn’t pay much attention—but as I said, looking back, I now distinctly remember hearing her say how ridiculous it was that her inventory began to misbehave at a mere 23 subfolder levels.

[20:01] Sweetie: …and by the time you reach 70 *
[20:01] Sweetie: the entire SL interface starts to misalign!
[20:02] Sweetie: with text buttons floating wildly everywhere!

[20:02] Sweetie: I mean, where ELSE am I supposed to keep my inventory of exploding lipsticks?

It’s true: Sweetie has the virtual world’s largest collection of virtual antique exploding lipsticks.

But now Sweetie was on a rant. She was muttering something about the pound-per-square-inch tensile strength of virtual manila folders and complaining that her least unstable lipsticks required at least ten layers of subfolders to be stored safely.

[20:03] Sweetie: And why manila folders, for goddess sake! Why don’t the Lindens get rid of that stupid folder icon and replace it with something more substantial like a 55-gallon drum or a lead-lined suitcase?

So yes, I should have realized my dear Sweetie was spiraling out of control.

* This is based on an actual experiment conducted in Sweetie’s Fortress of Solitude. Try it yourself and watch what happens!

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