Written 15 May, 2007
The United States of America vs. Sweetie
VII: The Rakehell's Damning Testimony
Imsonotadiva Bartlett: Good evening, Mr. Rakehell.
Randy Rakehell: ...
Imsonotadiva Bartlett: Mr. Rakehell!
Randy Rakehell: Sorry. In hot IM with my ward. Didn’t hear you. Good evening to you.
Imsonotadiva Bartlett: I'm a faithful reader of your blog.
Randy Rakehell: You’ll be in it.
Imsonotadiva Bartlett: Just to establish your credentials, you are the Queen's Own Rakehell?
Randy Rakehell: Yes I am.
Imsonotadiva Bartlett: And how did you come to hold that position?
Randy Rakehells: Rakehells do not kiss and tell. Although I am working on a book, The Road to Rakehell.
Imsonotadiva Bartlett: Mr. Rakehell, Dakota Burns testified earlier that she holds a master’s degree from Oxford University. (This portion of Ms. Burns’ testimony was a victim of the sim rollback).
Randy Rakehell: I heard that.
Imsonotadiva Bartlett: And what do you think about that?
Randy Rakehell: I try not to think about it.
Imsonotadiva Bartlett: And why is that?
Randy Rakehell: I consider it suspect.
Imsonotadiva Bartlett: Ms. Burns’ degree, or Oxford?
Randy Rakehell: Well, both, actually, but in particular Ms. Burns’ purported degree.
Imsonotadiva Bartlett: And why is that, Mr. Rakehell?
Mordecai Scaggs: Ms. Burns posted pictures of Oxford in Ms. Palisades’ blog. But they weren’t pictures of Oxford. I have my doubts she went to England at all. Mostly likely she was cavorting around in the Second Life bars.
Dakota Burns: Objection, Your Honor! Speculation!
Judge Camper: Sus^%$+*&)(*&
Judge Camper is offline.
Judge Camper is online.
Judge Camper is offline.
Judge Camper is online.
Judge Camper: Damn hotel connection! Sustained.
Imsonotadiva Bartlett: Ms. Burns can’t object! She’s a witness!
Dakota Burns: Chey can object because she’s assisting Sweetie. And Chey and I are controlled by the same human, so yes, I can object. And I do object.
Judge Camper: Sustained. Let’s move on, Counselor, before I have to relog again.
Imsonotadiva Bartlett: The photos weren’t of Oxford?
Randy Rakehell: No. That wasn’t the Bodlean Library. I live just down the street, so I'm certain. Off in the bars, I tell you.
Judge Camper: The jury will disregard the last remark.
Randy Rakehell: I have no more questions for this witness.
Imsonotadiva Bartlett: Hey, I’m supposed to say that!
Imsonotadiva Bartlett: I have no further questions for this witness.
Randy Rakehell: We’ve not done it in the engine room yet.
Imsonotadiva Bartlett: ???
Randy Rakehell: Sorry. That was meant for the IM box. I’m in conversation with my ward. And now my fiancée.
(Everyone in the courtroom applauds the engagement.)
Dakota Burns: (Can contain herself no longer.) Suspect! Suspect! My degree from Oxford is suspect? I’ll have you know I was there an entire week!
Judge Camper: Order!
Judge Camper: Say, Ms. Burns, where did your blue hair go?
Dakota Burns: I still have it. I’m back to my natural blonde color for now, though.
Judge Camper: And why is that?
Dakota Burns: Because I have a not-date with a pretty Italian boy. Right after court.
Dakota Burns: Free Sweetie! Free Sweetie! Free Sweetie!
(The courtroom erupts to cries of Free Sweetie!)
Judge Camper: Order! Order! Oh, that the hell! It’s time for happy hour at the Sphynx. This court will reconvene on Monday morning at eight am.
Cheyenne Palisades: Linden time?
3 comments:
O my sister, what are you like? I laughed till tears rolled down my face! Am I really that bad? :)
Sis, you have a superb wit,and this is a wonderfully written courtroom drama. I still don't know how it will end. Will Sweetie be freed, will true love win out, or will the evil TSA press for her de-rezzing? I await the next instalment with bated breath! Now if you will excuse me, I have a hot fiancee waiting for me in engine room....
*smooths her hair and wipes a smudge of engine grease off her arm*
Well done Chey, this just keeps getting better and better. Yet again you have thrown me into a giggle fit in my cubicle :)
Thanks so much, brother and sister-in-law. I'm having such a fun time with this blog.
No, M, you're not that bad. I'm just trying to uphold your rep as a demon rakehell.
:)
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