Written 23 May, 2007
The United States of America Vs. Sweetie
XIV. The Verdict
Judge Camper: Ms. Forewoman, has the jury reached a verdict?
Imsonotanalt Blazer: We have, Your Honor.
Jurors 1 -11: (In chorus.) We have NOT, you Honor.
Judge Camper: Wha's going on here?
Imsonotanalt Blazer: We have a bunch of cowards who are waffling at the last minute. The brilliant performance of prosecutor Bartlett has convinced us all.
Jurors 1-11: (In chorus.) No it hasn’t!
Imsonotanalt Blazer: She’s so stylish, and so articulate We all love Prosecutor Bartlett!.
xImsonotanalt Blazer: I’m going to sit down and shut up now.
Imsonotanalt Blazer: Who said that? That wasn’t me! Objection, your honor!
xImsonotanalt Blazer: I’m a blithering idiot!
Cheyenne Palisades: (To Sweetie.) Stop that!
Judge Camper: I declare a mistrial.
Imsonotadiva Bartlett: We’ll refile! We’ll bring you to justice yet, you, you, you… free spirit, you!
Judge Camper: This court is adjourned. Where’s my gavel?
Sweetie: In it’s usual place. Up your… Say, Judge, you look good as a female!
Judge Camper: You think so? Some guy has been hitting on me. He said he's been trying for months to with you but has had no luck. I told him I’m a guy, but he doesn’t seem to care.
Cheyenne Palisades: LOL
Judge Camper: I’m only a female because I found I can make more money. No more camping chairs for this girl. Just tricks, tricks, tricks! Say, can you direct me to the XCite! store?
Sweetie: So I can teleport without shoes now?
Judge Camper: I think you’re out of danger. Public opinion has been three-to-one in your favor. Diva won’t pursue this case. She’s off after easier game. She’s heading The United States versus TSA Personnel in Favor of Sweetie’s Tweaking, and, after that, Avatar Doe against Left Prim Breast.
Sweetie: Oh, my! I imagine there’s some history in that case!
Judge Camper: Oh, yes. It seems it fell out of an overhead storage bin during flight and bounced around the sim, doing extensive damage to property and psychological unhinging three avatars who saw the plaintiff with only one prim breast. Diva may actually win that one.
Processerver Revillo: Cheyenne Palisades?
Cheyenne Palisades: Yes.
Processerver Revillo: Consider yourself served. (Disappears.)
Sweetie: I like his poof.
Cheyenne Palisades: Oh, my!
Sweetie: What is it, hon?
Cheyenne Palisades: It seems the federal government is instituting an embargo against Pele.
Sweetie: This is Diva’s doing!
Cheyenne Palisades: It’s moving us one step closer to war with the U.S.
Sweetie: The U.S. doesn’t understand who it’s dealing with.
Cheyenne Palisades: With all the troops out of the country in Iraq and Afghanistan, we could probably stage a successful invasion, using alt troops.
Sweetie: They don’t realize we have the secret watermelon gun weapon!