Obituary

.=~~~~~~=.
{:.. }
\::._:._.:. /
`~¦ O ¦~`
.'`~~~~~~~`'.
/ o o \
: )(_)( ;
\ '.___.' /
`.,__`=_,.'
/__\V/__\
/\\
/ / \
\/`\/

(Cut the above and paste in Chat. You can make it into a gesture if you know how)

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died Wednesday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. He was buried on Friday in one of the biggest funerals in years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, Sara Ann, and the Hostess Twinkies. The gravesite was piled high with flours, as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded."

Mr. Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a smart cookie, and wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model to millions.

Mr. Fresh is survived by his second ex-wife. They had two children and one in the oven. Mr. Fresh is also survived by his long-term partner, Speedy Alka-Seltzer, and their adopted son, Teleport Tom.