Wednesday, May 9, 2007


All Hat, No Cattle
Bush Has Even Managed to Get His Mother’s Picture on Our Currency! 

Warning! The following blogpost has political content. If criticism of the policies of the government of the United States gets your blood up, you might want to go read a blog about dressmaking or something.


Written 30 April, 2007


On behalf of the majority of American citizens who did NOT vote George Bush into office, I would like to apologize to the rest of the world for the recent behavior of the United States.

In fact, I would like to apologize for it all—our exterminations of the indigenous population, the great bison herds, and the passenger pigeon; our aggressions against sovereign nations from the Halls of Montezuma to the Shores of Tripoli, (including but not limited to Canada, Mexico, Cuba, Nicaragua, Panama, Grenada, Spain, North Korea, Vietnam, and Iraq); our shameless imperialism; our setting up of and support for bad-guy dictatorships; our internment of our Japanese-American citizens during World War II; and our history of slavery.

Am I forgetting something? Oh, yes. Sorry, Hiroshima. Sorry Nagasaki. Sorry, dead people all over the world who were killed by guns and land mines and chemicals manufactured in the United States. Sorry, citizens of various African countries who might be alive today if we hadn’t ignored the genocides. Sorry, everyone, for all that disco music.

But let’s just pick on George W. Bush.

What can I say? The guy has a father fetish. He failed as an oil man, so he’s doing that other thing his daddy did. That’s why he invaded Iraq—because Daddy invaded Iraq. And since Daddy left almost as soon as he got there, Shrub is running in the dark without lights. Plan? There is no plan. There’s only bluster and stubborn persistence in failed policies. If this guy was a mechanic he would have changed your fuel pump seven times and would still be insisting your problem was a failed fuel pump.

Shrub is acting tough and full of bravado in hopes people will forget he was AWOL from Viet Nam and ran and hid when the twin towers collapsed on 9/11.

Or maybe it’s a dry drunk, since his handlers must be keeping him away from his alcohol and cocaine.

George W. been assiduously following the master de-deomocratization plan laid out by Adolph (can I paint your house?) Hitler in Mein Kamph, violating just about every clause of the Bill of Rights (so far I’ve not had to quarter troops in my house, but I can feel the day is close at hand) “Habeus Corpus? We don’t use foreign words like that in Texas.”

I mean, he created a universal spooky enemy—terrorists—and it’s a great concept, since anyone can be cast to fill that role. In fact, thanks to the sheep we have in Congress, the Shrub can declare any American an enemy combatant without cause. In fact, if you don’t see any more blogs here, please send me a fruit basket at Guantanamo. I’ve dared to criticize Mr. Mission Accomplished.

Four words. All hat, no cattle.

That about sums him up, don’t you think?

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