Written 23 May, 2007
This post is the result of another late night telephone collaboration between Cheyenne Palisades and her Sweetie.
The United States of America Vs. Sweetie
XV. Notices and Credits
Notice: No alts were harmed during the conduct of this trial. All captured alts were ultimately released. As for the alts we created, they have formed the Alt Liberation Army, an all-alt version of the Second Life Liberation Army, dedicated to the proposition that all avatars are created equal. In other words, they refuse to be considered "secondary" in any sense.
Notice: Haliburton is suing Pele Productions because they made no profit from this trial. “We reserve the right to make money from anyone at any time.” They reminded us of their motto: “Haliburton: Because we care.”
Notice: Pele Productions is an inclusive organization. We do not discriminate on the basis of furry species, vampire status, or non-humanoid or cartoon body form. We have a capture and release program for non-repentant Goreans; we put them back in the wild where they belong.
Notice: No giant prims were used in the making of this production.
Retraction: Giant prims were used in the construction of prop prim breasts.
Clarification: It was a pair of 40 meter spheres.
Sweetie played herself.
Cheyenne Palisades was played by Salma Hayek
Dakota Burns was played by Christina Ricci
Judge Camper was played by Doug Streeter
Imsonotadiva Bartlett was played by Kacy Despres
Avatar Spock was played by Gene Wilder
Aldo Zond was played by Hugh Grant
Imsonotanalt Blazer was played by Kacy Despres
Jurors 1-11 were played by Doug Streeter
Randy Rakehell was played by Kevin Spacey
Neelix Nesselrode was played by Armando Frangili
Sleezy Spinoza was played by Leaf Shermer
Transitauthority Linden was played by Mordecai Scaggs
Transitauthority Oh was played by Doug Streeter
Processerver Revillo: Stargazer Blazer
Baliff Merlin: DavidNC Merlin
Court Transcription and Prim Breast Consultant: Melissa Yeuxdoux
Crowd Outside Courthouse: Doug Streeter
Cast of Thousands: Doug Streeter
Unscrupulous Hot-Dog Vendor: Doug Streeter
Hysterical Club Dance: Chrissy Broadway
Voice for Scripted Objects: James Earl Jones
Best Boy: Doug Streeter
Key Grip: Doug Streeter
Dolly Grip: Doug Streeter
Dentugrip: Doug Streeter
Catering: Doug's Prim Yummies
Driver (Pele Set): Doug Streeter
Driver (Courthouse Set): Doug Streeter
Helicopter Pilot: The Late Aaron Volmer
Personal Assistant to Sweetie: Channel Liberty
Personal Assistant to Ms. Palisades: Peter Stindberg
Set Design: Sorcha McConachie
Courtroom Artist: Greg Paslong
Security: BreathofG8d Onmura and the Dragon Council
Ms. Palisades' Wardrobe was provided by PixelDolls’ $50L Sale
Sweetie’s Shocking Bustier was provided by Chaospire
Doug Streeter’s Wardrobe was provided by The Noobie Store
Audio Recording: “T.B.” Martin
I Fought the Law and the Law Won, written by Sonny Curtis, performed by the Bobby Fuller Four.
The Law is For the Protection of the People, written and performed by Kris Kristofferson.
Postcards from Richard Nixon, written by Elton John and Bernie Taupin, performed by Elton John.
America, written and performed by Tracy Chapman.
Not Ready to Make Nice, written and performed by the Dixie Chicks.
Are You Proud of America? Written by Ralph Stanley, performed by The Clinch Mountain Boys.
The Times, They Are A'Changin', written and performed by Bob Dylan.
America, performed by Gloria Gaynor
Volcano, written and performed by Jimmy Buffett
Your Flag Decal Won't Get You Into Heaven Anymore, written and performed by John Prine
Soon to be a major motion picture directed by Michael Moore.
This is Imsonotadiva Bartlett! I see now how this was rigged! It was all set up to make me fail! I swear on my left breast, I’m going to bring this case back to trial! Or better yet, I’ll skewer you all in my new book, “Defending the Homeland: The Case Against Sweetie.” I’ll see you on the pundit circuit!