Wednesday, May 23, 2007

XV. Notices and Credits

Written 23 May, 2007

This post is the result of another late night telephone collaboration between Cheyenne Palisades and her Sweetie.

The United States of America Vs. Sweetie

XV. Notices and Credits

Notice: No alts were harmed during the conduct of this trial. All captured alts were ultimately released. As for the alts we created, they have formed the Alt Liberation Army, an all-alt version of the Second Life Liberation Army, dedicated to the proposition that all avatars are created equal. In other words, they refuse to be considered "secondary" in any sense.

Notice: Haliburton is suing Pele Productions because they made no profit from this trial. “We reserve the right to make money from anyone at any time.” They reminded us of their motto: “Haliburton: Because we care.”

Notice: Pele Productions is an inclusive organization. We do not discriminate on the basis of furry species, vampire status, or non-humanoid or cartoon body form. We have a capture and release program for non-repentant Goreans; we put them back in the wild where they belong.

Notice: No giant prims were used in the making of this production.

Retraction: Giant prims were used in the construction of prop prim breasts.

Clarification: It was a pair of 40 meter spheres.


Sweetie played herself.

Cheyenne Palisades was played by Salma Hayek

Dakota Burns was played by Christina Ricci

Judge Camper was played by Doug Streeter

Imsonotadiva Bartlett was played by Kacy Despres

Avatar Spock was played by Gene Wilder

Aldo Zond was played by Hugh Grant

Imsonotanalt Blazer was played by Kacy Despres

Jurors 1-11 were played by Doug Streeter

Randy Rakehell was played by Kevin Spacey

Neelix Nesselrode was played by Armando Frangili

Sleezy Spinoza was played by Leaf Shermer

Transitauthority Linden was played by Mordecai Scaggs

Transitauthority Oh was played by Doug Streeter

Processerver Revillo: Stargazer Blazer

Baliff Merlin: DavidNC Merlin

Court Transcription and Prim Breast Consultant: Melissa Yeuxdoux

Crowd Outside Courthouse: Doug Streeter

Cast of Thousands: Doug Streeter

Unscrupulous Hot-Dog Vendor: Doug Streeter

Hysterical Club Dance: Chrissy Broadway

Voice for Scripted Objects: James Earl Jones

Best Boy: Doug Streeter

Key Grip: Doug Streeter

Dolly Grip: Doug Streeter

Dentugrip: Doug Streeter

Catering: Doug's Prim Yummies

Driver (Pele Set): Doug Streeter

Driver (Courthouse Set): Doug Streeter

Helicopter Pilot: The Late Aaron Volmer

Personal Assistant to Sweetie: Channel Liberty

Personal Assistant to Ms. Palisades: Peter Stindberg

Set Design: Sorcha McConachie

Courtroom Artist: Greg Paslong

Hair: Gurl6

Security: BreathofG8d Onmura and the Dragon Council

Ms. Palisades' Wardrobe was provided by PixelDolls’ $50L Sale

Sweetie’s Shocking Bustier was provided by Chaospire

Doug Streeter’s Wardrobe was provided by The Noobie Store

Audio Recording: “T.B.” Martin


I Fought the Law and the Law Won, written by Sonny Curtis, performed by the Bobby Fuller Four.

The Law is For the Protection of the People, written and performed by Kris Kristofferson.

Postcards from Richard Nixon, written by Elton John and Bernie Taupin, performed by Elton John.

America, written and performed by Tracy Chapman.

Not Ready to Make Nice, written and performed by the Dixie Chicks.

Are You Proud of America? Written by Ralph Stanley, performed by The Clinch Mountain Boys.

The Times, They Are A'Changin', written and performed by Bob Dylan.

America, performed by Gloria Gaynor

Volcano, written and performed by Jimmy Buffett

Your Flag Decal Won't Get You Into Heaven Anymore, written and performed by John Prine


Soon to be a major motion picture directed by Michael Moore.


This is Imsonotadiva Bartlett! I see now how this was rigged! It was all set up to make me fail! I swear on my left breast, I’m going to bring this case back to trial! Or better yet, I’ll skewer you all in my new book, “Defending the Homeland: The Case Against Sweetie.” I’ll see you on the pundit circuit!


Aldo Zond said...

This whole sorry affair has been the funniest thing i've read in absolutely ages. We want more! Can i join the "Free The Pele 4" campaign?

Kacy Despres said...

*rises from her cube for a full standing ovation and starts the slow clap* Bravo! Bravo! Oh Chey, I have to agree with Aldo, this was the funniest thing I've seen in so long. Thanks for all the laughs! *sits back down and ignores the stares of her coworkers*

Cheyenne Palisades said...

Wow, thanks, you two! I had great fun writing it all, and Sweetie was such an inspiration as we talked on the phone. She provides most of the funniest bits.

Aldo, thanks for volunteering to be in bed with the TSA. Kacy, I guess you saw I cast you as both Diva and her alt. I thought you would have the acting ability to carry it off.

Aldo, I wish I had thought of reviewing the Chicago 7 trial transcript; I'm sure it would have given me a lot of great material.