Written 22 May, 2007
X. Sweetie Cross-Examines Aldo
Sweetie: Mr. Zond, do you often use disguises in your work?
Aldo Zond: I’m a triple-naught spy. Of course I do!
Sweetie: And did you use disguises in your surveillance of me?
Aldo Zond. I did.
Sweetie: And what guises did you take?
Aldo Zond: I disguised myself as a circling bird. And bloody boring it was, too. And once as a torii gate. And once as the pose ball Devotion, which I know is your favorite, and Ms. Palisades’.
Aldo Zond: Of course, the name tag over my head gave me away every time. I never did manage to get you and Ms. Palisades on me when I was Devotion. I’m sure I would have enjoyed watching you two make out!
Aldo Zond: I made all sorts of newbie alts, but I couldn’t get on the land because Cheyenne keeps the land blocked to avatars with no payment on file. And with what Tony Blair pays me, I couldn’t afford to sign up an army of alts. So the bottom line is I did my real spying as myself.
Sweetie: By exposing the Dutch Sex Club, did Ms. Palisades and myself do a public good?
Aldo Zond: Yes, you did. We can’t have the Dutch fornicating all over the place, now, can we?
Sweetie: And I didn’t actually orbit Mr. Streeter, did I?
Aldo Zond: No. He said another time, perhaps, and you didn’t do the deed.
Sweetie: And Ms. Palisades is here in this courtroom isn’t she, all fit and fine?
Aldo Zond: Yes, quite fit, from what I can see. And I can see quite a lot of her in that outfit.
Sweetie: And were there hordes of suspicious-looking avatars congregating on Pele to learn bomb-making?
Aldo Zond: I never saw a suspicious-looking avatar on Pele, just ordinary avs. But of course under the new guidelines every avatar is under suspicion, so maybe the answer to that is yes.
Sweetie: That’s what I wanted to hear you say. You’re excused, Mr. Zond. And we’ll still be friends, if you’ll just get rid of that absurd 000 tag over your head.
Aldo Zond: I just resigned from the Secret Service And I hereby relinquish my British citizenship. I am asking asylum in the independent nation-state of Pele.
Cheyenne Palisades: As Pele’s ambassador to the rational world and the United States, Pele grants you asylum, Mr. Zond.
Sweetie: Your Judgeship, the defense rests.
Judge Camper: You don’t plan to mount a defense?
Sweetie: I plan to mount mostly Cheyenne Palisades. I think I can defend myself adequately in my closing remarks.
Judge Camper: Very well. Court is adjourned until 8 am tomorrow.
Cheyenne Palisades: Is that Linden time?