New XP Install

Written 20 December, 2006

P.C. Problems

III: New XP Install

I hate it that it takes 45 minutes to install Windows.

Oh, if that was all there was to it!

XP installs with every fail-safe, thumb-fingered, hand-holding switch set to dumbass mode. It takes forever to hunt down and kill the switches necessary to make Windows drive a little less like a VW and a little more like a Porsche and install my favorite photo as desktop wallpaper.

And of course, the stupid switches—especially the firewall settings—tend to reset themselves back to dumbass mode.

Oh, and before that—you must validate Windows. It wants to do so over the Internet, but of course the Internet is not yet available. That means you have to talk to someone in Seattle-- or, more likely, India.

Bill Gates, what were you thinking?

First thing, I installed the NVidia mother board software. Then the software for the video card. Then I made a connection and got online. First place I went? Second Life, of course. I had been jonesing.

As soon as I did, Windows began to download updates and insist that I allow it to restart.

And XP wouldn’t take a simple no for an answer. It told me unless I slapped it in the face, it would restart without permission. When I would tell it not to restart, it would go off and sulk for about five minutes and then come back and go through the same tired routine.

And of course, the default was to restart, and not NOT to restart. Bill Gates, WTF were you thinking!? That I wouldn’t mind if I was typing along and XP fell out from under me?

Chey to Seattle: Don’t make me come up there and straighten you out!

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Photo: Microsoft XP toggle switch