Thursday, December 28, 2006

Sex and Love

Written 27 December, 2006

Sex and Love

I won’t say who my new love is or what we do with and to one another, for that’s private.

But I will talk about the way I’m feeling, and what love and sex mean to me.

Sex

For me—and my ** Sheri Baby** days only served to confirm it—casual sex has been meaningless and unsatisfying.

Consequently, I’ve always been able to take it or leave it. Usually, I have left it, although occasionally I have indulged. It’s sort of like poking an infected finger to see if it still hurts. It does.

When I care about a person, however, and especially if I love them, sex is a spiritual thing. It is glorious.

With someone you love-- or at least like and respect-- love is a growing experience. You learn about one another in new ways, and about yourself. You engage in mutual exploration of not only your lover’s body, but her mind, his sense of humor, her likes and dislikes, his moods, her erotic map. It can be, should be, and usually is, wonderful.

Alas, it’s a rare thing for two people—or for that matter, two avatars—to thoroughly make such an exploration. More often than not, there’s no real connection, and even when there is, things get off track, and the relationship becomes a matter of rote, of repetition, of falling into repetitive and often unpleasant and harmful patterns in which both people are trapped. Codependency, in other words.

But oh, when it works!

Love

When you’re in love, and especially when your love is in its initial phases, you feel giddy,
and excited, and more than a little silly. You can’t get enough of your lover’s presence, or of her body.

But as love matures, you gain knowledge of your lover’s likes and dislikes, his boundaries, the way her mind works. This births—or can birth—a deeper love, a comfortable love, an enduring love that will transcend the biological imperative, remaining strong after the pheromones have dissipated. (And if you’re lucky, they won’t dissipate.)

So love is a process, a journey, a voyage with no embarkation point or destination. It’s simply a state of being, an ever-changing, ever-wonderful way of connecting with another human being, of cherishing her, or nourishing him.

That’s what I’m feeling. And it makes sex—the hot, passionate sex and the langourous, comfortable sex—an exalted thing.

Ah, youth! Ah, love! Ah, pose balls.

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Photo: Love nest at House of 1000 Pleasures.

2 comments:

Sorcha McConachie said...

Cheyenne : ) What a great post. I'm so glad when I come across people who are in love. It makes me feel less crazy. But I kinda like this crazy feeling. I don't think I'd trade it. I never went into SL looking for love. It just happened. And it's wonderful and I can't believe how lucky I am : P Forgive me- I'm giddy I know! I love your blog! Keep up the good work

Véronique Lalonde said...

Your experience sounds very familiar, Chey. I wasn't looking for love either, but it found me. And where it has led has been extraordinary. Seems that's a lot of what I end up blogging about. Best wishes to you on your journey, wherever it may take you!