Feral Freebie Tribes

Written 21 May, 2009

Feral Freebie Tribes

Oh, feral freebie tribes
Succored by the evil socialist sugar that is freebies
Second Life social structure gone mad
Tribes of freebie hunters
Like feral wildcats yowling in overly-cute nine-year-old anime voices
Over their freebie toys

They are a tribe
The only rules:
Never write of the freebie tribe
Never talk about the freebie tribe
Never comment on everyone having the same ugly dress as you
And ALWAYS eliminate any rival
Whose first name begins with the same letter as yours
The only time a new member is admitted
Is when an old member dies

The spiritual leader of the freebie tribe
Is a dowser
Whose holy anointed scripted stick
Points to nearby lucky chairs
The holy book
Is a map of all the rotating lucky chairs in Second Life
The leader’s role:
To summon from across the aether
Those whose destiny has been called by “the chair.”

You thought panthers were tough? Ninjas?
They are pussycats compared to the feral freesters
They think they are Olympian goddesses
Run for the chair, love! I will cover you!
And watch out for the laser face lights
Go for the chair
Sit on the chair
Get your reward now
There’s no need to wait for heaven

And now, now
Wear that ugly dress
Look like the rest of us
No need to adjust that butt skirt
None of the rest of us do
Surround the lucky chair
Bow to the lucky chair
Pray to the lucky chair
Bling on!
We are the feral tribe!
We are the goddesses of the lucky chair!
And if your first name begins with Q
We may have an opening for you