Wednesday, April 4, 2007

The Boyfriend V: The Oxford Opportunity

Elvis Chapel; Dakota Can Never Be Married There Again Because of the Bounced Check

Dakota's Camry Just before She Covered it With Brush
Not Shown: Primered Fender (It's On the Other Side)
Written 3 April, 2007

The Boyfriend

V: The Oxford Opportunity

Cheyenne here.

How strange to have to say that in my own blog!

I forgot to tell you how the Oxford situation arose.

Despite her reputation as a perpetual virgin, Dakota was once married.

When Boyfriend told her his daughter’s wedding had cost $40,000, Dakota told him she and her husband-to-be had run away to Vegas, where they were married by Elvis.

Elvis charged $43, which husband-to-be paid with a check that bounced.

During the four years of their marriage, Dakota went full-time to Arizona State and worked in a truck stop. Husband lay around smoking pot and watching reruns of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Finally, Dakota threw him out—whereupon he started college himself. Pre-Med. Now he’s a resident at a hospital in Oregon.

Dakota sometimes wonders if she had somehow been holding him back or if kicking him out got him motivated. It’s one of her insecurities.

I’m not quite sure, but I suspect they never actually finalized their divorce.

Last week a friend told Dakota her Ex was in town. She straightaway took her Camry out into the desert and covered it with a pile of mesquite brush.


Because Ex holds the title and she was afraid he would want it back.

But he only wanted to give her some mail that had been routed to him.

Junk mail.

And an offer of a grad assistantship at Oxford.

Who could turn that down?

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