Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Sweetie Gets XCited!

Xcite! Intergalactic Headquarters

Written 20 March, 2007

Sweetie Gets XCited!

Sweetie and I had been hearing the occasional allusion to something called XCite! We weren’t sure just what it was but as we thought it had something to do with sex, we were all for it.

And so last weekend we took ourselves to the XCite! store. This after a trip to several sleazy sex emporia in search of a dance pole.

Why did we need a dance pole?

We just did.

It was in fact because the sign for the dance pole Sweetie most liked claimed that it worked with XCite! that we wound up going to the XCite! store.

I IMed my friend Dodgeguy to ask what XCite! was—and didn’t he get a laugh out of that! “I’m an XCite! whore,” he said, and told me.


And so we wended our way—teleported, actually— to the XCite! store.

It was, as Dodge had warned me, laggy—this because of the high number of XCite!able avatars hanging out. One such avatar, in fact, chatted me up, and I chatted back until a) he offered to help me test any new XCite! body parts I might buy and b) I noticed that his John Henry was poking big time out of his pants. End of chat.

Just the night before I had had to watch avs screwing at the Bits and Bobs pose ball store, (i.e, “trying out” some very explicit pose balls), this just to pick up a couple of dance balls for the Dragon Skybar.

“Sheesh! Get a room!” I said to one couple.

“The world is my room,” the male replied.

Good retort, I have to admit.

The XCite! store was even more of a challenge.

First, there were all sorts of moans and gasps of pleasures and “Do me now” vocalizations coming from a display of XCite! audio packs as prospective buyers decided whether they wanted to sound like Betty Boop or Lauren Bacall. And there were the dick-hanging-out guys (one guy was a dick, in fact, just a phallus and two legs. But the products themselves were a challenge even to my less-than-conservative sensibilities.

“Do we want human parts or animal parts?” I asked Sweetie, reading the signs over a pair of portals.

She gave me a dirty look—amazing how an av can accomplish that—and I turned into the human parts vestibule, where we looked at the XCite! Classic Clit—a name that sent Sweetie, with whom I was Skyping, into a paroxysm of giggles.

“What, you don’t think a clit can be classic?” I asked.

More giggling.

We wound up buying only XCite! lips, passing up the XCite! Starter Kit, which included the left nipple, the right nipple (just to be complete), the XCite! ass, and the aforementioned Classic Clit, as well as a HUD controller designed to coordinate the various XCite!able parts. I had already bought a pair of XCite! nipples before we decided on lips only, so I passed them on to Dakota, even though she will have absolutely no use for them. I hope. Sometimes I wonder about that girl. She gets a little giddy around Sweetie, and I’ve even caught her looking at me funny. It has occurred to me that if we were to have a menage a trois, I would be two-thirds of the ensemble!

Heaven forbid!


VĂ©ronique Lalonde said...

I'm stunned that you managed to avoid Xcite until now. :) I bought the starter kit and the lips when I was about a month old (my most expensive purchase at the time), but I hardly ever use them. I had a brief period of enthusiasm when I was a young'un. Now, P and I mainly find it handy on rare occasions when we'd like some stimulation but are too tired to do real lovemaking, or to use with a fun toy that was a gift. It's also handy for autoerotic fun. In my limited experience, it's far more MF oriented than 2F, and certainly its text gets silly rather quickly, not to mention that the author seems not to have known what a multiple orgasm is.

Some people get all militantly anti-Xcite. I can't get worked up about it, but I've found that talk lovemaking is more satisfying and more intimate.

Have fun with the lips. :)

Melissa Yeuxdoux said...

You know, this really begs for a parody of the late Warren Zevon's "Excitable Boy"...