Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Protecting Our Asses

Nurse Rosie is on duty 24/7, but she has difficulty covering three sims.
She suggests we place First Aid kits in convenient locations.

Written 27 July, 2009

Protecting Our Asses

Long ago our virtual attorneys advised us to protect ourselves against litigious avatars by providing our own insurance policy—and so Whimsurance was born.

“You don’t actually have to _pay_ any claims,” the lawyers told us. “Just exclude everything.”

You can buy your very own Whimsurance policy on Whimsy from the sign near the temple to Pele and underwater from the signs near the lava beds. On Whimsy Kaboom, you’ll find a Whimsurance dispenser in the admissions office. For only ten Lindens you can rest assured you’ll be covered from all dangers (just don’t presume to make a claim).

We’ve taken additional pains to protect our visitors so they can’t sue our asses.

* Lots of sims give away hard hats while they’re under development, but ours are perpetually available. You can get your free Whimsy hard hat near our giant granite bobbing bird (who is, appropriately enough, named Bob, because he does). On Kaboom, you’ll see the hard hat on the reception desk.

* We offer free protective thermal boots so avatars won’t get burned up wading in the molten lava. You can find yours on the platform near the train’s second stop.

* Because our train runs much of its route underwater, we provide free SCUBA gear so avies don’t drown.

And we’re now considering a Whimsy first aid kit.

I’ll be listing the contents soon on this blog. For now, I’d love to hear suggestions from my readers for first aid gear, medications, protective garments, surgical instruments, and other things that should be included in Whimsy’s first aid kit.

After the Fold: More Horrible Ways to Die on Whimsy

Whimsy's sea urchins are particularly vicious
Whatever creatures live in the cave in the Upper Gardens creep me out.
That's a bat over my left shoulder. But the eyes!
This is still the most common way to expire on Whimsy


Tycho Beresford said...

I bought a Whimsurance policy on July 21st of last year and have had absolutely no regrets!

Melissa Yeuxdoux said...

I'm thinking about some way to guard against the pushy hummingbirds. Maybe a staff or an umbrella with sugar water dispensers hanging from it to give them something else to do?

Cheyenne Palisades said...

You will, Tycho, when you find it expired THIS July 21!

Melissa, I could turn the hummingbirds on phantom, but what would be the fun in that???

Anonymous said...

Sweetie makes a mental note to sick a whimsurance Home Sales bot to knock on his door..

(sound) Knock Knock

(tycho) Who's there?

(bot) Land Shark.

(tycho) I'm not scared of a shark

(bot) Fresh Prim Delivery Service

(tycho) I have all I need thanks. ...say your not that sneaky whimsurance sales bot are you?

(bot) Ready to negotiate your renewal today SIr!

(tycho) [sounds: running feat and ... "aaaaaahahahhahahahhahaa save me !!!!