Freedom Freebies and All They Entail

The Freedom Freebie Rollerbot Makes a Break For It

The Freedom Freebie Sub In Motion

Written 23 July, 2009

Freedom Freebies and All They Entail

Awhile back Sweetie decided nothing would do but we develop a line of freedom freebies.

“Er, freedom freebies?” I asked. I was dreading the worst.

“Yep, freedom freebies. And you know what that means.”

“I’m not sure I do,” I said. “What DOES that mean?”

“Well, they’ll need to have a means of escape, of course,” Sweetie said. “That means you’ll have to program them to run, hop, swim, somersault, and fly away.”

“Wait a minute,” I said. “You mean we’re going to have freebies that try to escape their fate by running away?”

“Pretty much,” she said smugly.

“But doesn’t it obviate their whole purpose if they run away?”

“Not necessarily,” she said. “What does obviate mean?”

So the upshot is we (we meaning me) will develop a machine to manufacture a variety of freedom freebies and deliver them to the requesting avatar. They will then escape, or try to; the avatar will get them only if he or she manages to touch them as they make their escape.

I’ve been in my secret laboratory (well, on a sky platform; I’ve never found the time to make a secret lab) developing prototypes. So far I’ve created freebies that roll, hop, float, teleport, and fly away, and a sub that dives beneath the water, showing only its periscope. I’m working on the last and most complicated freebie, which, using legs, will run away. And maybe a rocket ship which will blast off. And maybe a freebie that will shrink away to nothing if you don’t touch it quickly. And maybe a ninja freebie that will attack with katanas. And maybe a wild West freebie with six shooters. And maybe a freebie that will generate a lightning storm to hide its getaway. But that’s it.

No matter how many weird escape routines Sweetie comes up with.

The freebies will require machines to make and transport them. I made one version, but Sweetie nixed it, so I’m back to the drawing board. And she’s decided there has to be a mine to produce the raw materials with which they’re made. That, of course, requires a cavern in the sky. And the sky platform atop the cave might as well house my store and serve as the entry area to Whimsy.

This promises to be nearly as big a job as the robot sanatorium.