Sunday, June 6, 2010

Reporting From the Field on the BP Oil Spill: VI: TSA Is Behind It All

Written 6 June, 2010

Reporting From the Field on the BP Oil Spill

VI: TSA is Behind It All!

The Whimsy Transportation Authority was behind it all!

What had they done? Well, they had bought four extremely expensive ($10,000 L) Tonktastic refinery kits and smuggled them onto our sims.

And why four?


Whimsy Kaboom

You guessed it! Their evil plan was to smuggle oil refineries onto the four sims on our bloc-- including Leaf Shermer's sims!

I figured they were planning to level the land while the sim was empty so we would come back and find the deed accomplished.

WTA's motto is, after all, it's easier to beg forgiveness than to get permission.

I hid out at the House of 1000 Pleasures and waited until night to see if I could catch the WTA red-handed.

Sure enough...

The bastards had brought in a ton of heavy machinery and their ship was still in the bay.

I returned the ship and the machinery and systematically began to ban the WTA board of directors from my sims.

I immediately got an irate IM from the Chair. "Hey!" He shouted. "What gives? My girlfriend and I were just in the middle of a good f..."

"Too bad," I said. "You're history. You'll never be allowed on Whimsy again, ever. And don't try to sneak in any alts."

"At least let me come and pick up my stuff," he pleaded. "I have some valuable possessions on Whimcentricity."

"You talking about the Tonktastic refinery kits?"

"I disavow all knowledge of Tonktastic refinery kits!" he exclaimed, "but if you happen to find any..."

"I did," I said. "And I'm keeping them."

"You can't do that!" he said. "They're the property of the Whimsy Transportation Authority!"

"Those kits are $10,000 Lindens each," I said. "The last I checked, the WTA had only $137L. Where did you get the money?"

"Check the cookie jar in your house," he laughed.

"My tier money? You stole MY TIER MONEY? You are SOOO banned forever!"

"Muwahaaaa," he laughed. "You've not heard the last of the TSA! Oops! Did I say TSA out loud?"

"Wait a minute!" I said. "Teleportation Security Administration? What does that have to do with WTA?"

Before he could answer, a dreadful realization hit me: The WTA was behind the recent shenanigans, but behind the WTA was that horrible holdover from the George W. years, the TSA!

"We're everywhere! You didn't think we were going to forget that trial business, did you?"

"Sweetie's trial?" I said. "She was exonerated!"


"Her file is still open," he sneered. "One of these days she's gonna break the law and then we'll get her."

"Never!" I said.

But you know, Sweetie breaks the law every day. In fact, there's hardly a law she hasn't broken. Except regicide. I don't think she's ever killed a king. Isn't that illegal?

"Okay, now you're muted," I said. "All your prims are off the land, and those of your cohorts. "Goodbye and good riddance!"

But I knew we hadn't heard the last of him.

Maybe because his name was I'msonotadiva's brother Magoo.

Meanwhile, does anyone want to buy a Tonktastic oil refinery kit cheap?


Tonk said...

Haha :D Would be nice if someone would really buy 4 refineries :P In fact, they are copy, so you only need one, lol :)

But i promise (crosses fingers) the refinery is absolutely secure and there will no blow-out happen!!!111

*checks transactions*

No sales of 4 refineries, must be stolen stuff from those solamia pirates, arrrrrrrrrrr :)

Cheyenne Palisades said...

I love your refinery, Tonk.

Yeah, I'm sure those bastards from BP didn't pay for it.

I actually pasted the texture from Xstreet on some crates I had made. I hope the blog got you some traffic.