A Three-Donut Vacation: XX. Teleport Tom is Your Friend

Written 5 July, 2008

A Three-Donut Vacation

XX: Teleport Tom is Your Friend

“This is it,” said BonBon in a conspiratorial whisper. “Our destination.”

We were standing at a doorway with a bright picture of Teleport Tom pasted on its door. Tom was still in Condition “Tom is Vigilant." A nearby sign read “Teleport Tom is Your Friend!”

Without a pause Sweetie pulled a Sharpie from her smock and drew mustaches and thick eyebrows on Tom.

“My apologies, BonBon,” she said, glancing at his not dissimilar features.

“He could be a cousin,” BonBon shrugged. “And now I am off to France. I just checked my PDA, and it seems I’ve been promised a position with the Baguette Publicity Board. It’s not much, but it’s a start!”

Sweetie hugged him, and I did too (he pinched my bottom), and BonBon was off to a brilliant career as a bread publicist.

The door was locked, but Sweetie produced her plastic security key and ran it through the scanner. The door didn’t open.

“Rats,” hissed Sweetie. “They’ve raised the access level! And only two people have Level I access.”

“Who?” I hissed.

“The Director,” she said, “—and...”

“ImSoNotaDiva Bartlett.”

Sweetie was shocked. It’s a condition that rarely afflicts her. “How did you know that?”

“Who’s writing this blog?” I asked. “Of course I figured it out. She’s the logical choice for a villain. Besides, leaving your arch-nemesis out of the story would be like Superman without Lex Luthor. We’ll come up with some plot contrivance to explain how she got back in grace here so quickly after that Copybot fiasco.”

“We have to find her,” Sweetie said. “I wish BonBon were still here.”

“Me too,” I said. “I liked him.”

“So somehow,” I said, “we have to get Diva’s security card away from her and bring it back here.”

“Well, not only her card,” Sweetie said. “There’s an additional security device.”

“Oh, no!” I said. “What?”

“See that screen there? That’s a retinal scanner.”

I was beginning to think those scone weapons would come in handy.