Linden Name Court

Written 12 January, 2009

Linden Name Court

Bailiff Merlin: HearyehearyehearyeLindenNameCourtisnowinsessionJudgeCamperLindenpresidingAllrise!

Judge Camper: Be seated. Bailiff, the first case.

Bailiff Merlin: Yes, your honor. Case number B12419, Seymour Butz.

Judge Camper: (Bangs gavel). Order! There will be no laughing in this courtroom. If you want to laugh, go down the hall to Watermelon Court. Judge Torley will be happy to see you.

Mr. Butz, I understand you’re petitioning to change your name.

Seymour Butz: Yes, Your Honor.

Judge Camper: And are you changing your name to avoid prosecution for fraud or collection of tier fees?

Seymour Butz: No, Your Honor.

Judge Camper: And why do you wish to change your name, Mr. Butz?

Seymour Butz: There is an, er, unfortunate effect of reading or saying my first and last names together, Your Honor.

Judge Camper: Hmmm. I don’t quite see it. Seymour. Butz. Seymour Butz. Seymour Butz.

(Bailiff Merlin whispers in Judge Camper’s ear).

Judge Camper: Oh, yes, of course. I of course see why you wish to change your name, Mr. Butz. I’m inclined to grant your petition.

Seymour Butz: Thank you, Your Honor.

Judge Camper: And do you wish to change your first or last name, Mr. Butz?

Seymour Butz: I think to save future embarrassment, both, Your Honor.

Judge Camper: And to what do you wish to change it, Mr. Butz?

Seymour Butz: As you can see on the petition, I’m chosen my father’s first name and my mother’s maiden name. I don’t want to take any chances.

Judge Camper: (Bang gavel). Petition granted. Mr. Butz, you will henceforth be known as Hugh Jass.

Hugh Jass: Thank you, your honor. Why is everyone laughing?