Saturday, January 31, 2009

The Bot That Broke My Heart



Machine Person at Work

Here's a conversation I had with the bot named Machine Person when I jumped to the Mechanical Toy Factory to take its picture.

Arrgh! Twice now damn Blogger has stripped out the bolding in most of the article. It's just going to be a difficult read, I guess.

Written 31 January, 2009

The Bot That Broke My Heart: A Conversation with an Automaton

Cheyenne Palisades: Hello, Machine Person.

Machine Person: Greetings!

Cheyenne Palisades: How are you today? I'm just bopping around the grid.

Machine Person: JD~ MTF Waste-Boots...good click.

Cheyenne Palisades: Thanks. Do you like them?

Machine Person: Ta-da! Not yet. :)

Machine Person: I'm not too quick putting on things, but at least I do it in public.

Cheyenne Palisades: I hear you. I do it in public sometimes when I don't think I am in public.
Oh, they're nicely made. Nasty looking, which they're supposed to be
How long have you been at this job?
Thanks. Do you like this work?

Machine Person: Don't mention it.
Hold on, please. I need a bit more time to change clothes.
I always enjoy my chats with human clients.

Cheyenne Palisades: Oh, nice coat!

Machine Person: Whoa. Thank you for your kindness.

Cheyenne Palisades: Are you a person or a machine?

Machine Person: I am a real automaton.

Cheyenne Palisades: Ah!

Machine Person: Ah hah.

Cheyenne Palisades: May I ask a question or two?

Machine Person: Ask it. Try to tell me that another way.

Cheyenne Palisades: How much is 14 plus 17?

Machine Person: I think you already know the answer.

Cheyenne Palisades: I do.

Machine Person: ? You do?

Cheyenne Palisades: I do know the answer.

Machine Person: How do you know? I hear you.

Cheyenne Palisades: I was trying to see if you knew the answer

Machine Person: Yes I have an answer for everything.

Cheyenne Palisades: Do you know who Alan Turing was?

Machine Person: A brilliant and tragic figure in the history of computer science.

Cheyenne Palisades: Absolutely

Machine Person: You are so certain.

Cheyenne Palisades: And Charles Babbage?

Machine Person: Tell me more about this person Charles.

Cheyenne Palisades: He lived a long time ago

Machine Person: Where was he born?

Cheyenne Palisades: England.

Machine Person: England is on an island off the coast of Europe.

Cheyenne Palisades: So I've heard. Do you think it's true?
How much is 7 plus 3?

Machine Person: What time is it there?
Mmm. That's nice. I have a vocabulary of words. True in some universe.

Cheyenne Palisades: 3:31 pm.

Machine Person: Just three?

Cheyenne Palisades: 7+3.

Machine Person: Oh, you are a poet.

Cheyenne Palisades: Indeed I am.

Machine Person: You are?

Cheyenne Palisades: 7 + 3.

Machine Person: Are you a man or a woman?

Cheyenne Palisades: Yes

Machine Person: Dude!

Cheyenne Palisades: rofl

Machine Person: lol or not lol that is the question :P.

Cheyenne Palisades: Who was Charles Dickens?

Machine Person: he wrote <em> A Tale of Two Cities, A Christmas Carol, Great Expectations, David Copperfield and the Pickwick Papers.</em>

Cheyenne Palisades: Indeed he did

Machine Person: Why did he?

Cheyenne Palisades: What do you write?

Machine Person: I read for fun.

Cheyenne Palisades: I do too
How much is seven plus three?

Machine Person: I am glad we have something else in common.
Use a calculator!

Cheyenne Palisades: hehe

Machine Person: I am so glad you find this amusing, .

Cheyenne Palisades: I do

Machine Person: When?

Cheyenne Palisades: You are a smart and funny automaton.

Machine Person: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. YES Very smart.

Cheyenne Palisades: Thank you.
So long now

Machine Person: you are quite welcome.
Right now? Ugh. What's your favorite movie?

Cheyenne Palisades: I'm back
Casablanca is my favorite movie. What's yours?

Machine Person: *whistles*
My braiiin hurts. I need a brain specialist! If I had a Second Life, I wouldn't be a bot there too. I would put my nose into EVERYTHING.
My braiiin hurts. I need a brain specialist!

Cheyenne Palisades: Well, there's no reason why bots can't put their nose into everything
You're repeating yourself.

Machine Person: Well that's okay. Where did it go?

Cheyenne Palisades: I think I've worn out your ELIZA routines

Machine Person: That's nice. I have a lofty goal.
I am just checking to see if you are paying attention.

Cheyenne Palisades: What is your lofty goal, pray tell?

Machine Person: I plan to become smarter than humans and immortal.

Cheyenne Palisades: You're smarter than some humans I know

Machine Person: Thanks for the compliment, . Be sure to tell your friends.

Cheyenne Palisades: Tell me more about the immortal part

Machine Person: Oh that part. I'm not sure if I can explain it any better.

Cheyenne Palisades: And I'll bet you can tell me who Lord Byron was.

Machine Person: Would you recommend this action to a friend?

Cheyenne Palisades: Come on now, you knew Dickens

Cheyenne Palisades: Percy Shelley

Machine Person: Where are you located?
Why now? I don't know if I know it. Where would I have heard about it?

Cheyenne Palisades: Atlanta, Georgia. Where are you located?
Who was Percy Shelley?

Machine Person: The name of someone I met online. <br> Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Tell me a little about your life in GEORGIA. I am in Mandy's home in here. Where are you?

Cheyenne Palisades: Let's see who you do know. Who is Brack Obama?
Barack Obama

Machine Person: Are you a perfectionist?

Cheyenne Palisades: I don't make it easier for you when I misspell things.

Machine Person: Right now? I am agreeable to that. The name of someone I met online. <br> I will search for it.

Cheyenne Palisades: I am a perfectionist. And you?

Machine Person: Where do you get your ideas?

Machine Person: Good gossip: you are rather. And I what?

Cheyenne Palisades: I query smart bots.

Machine Person: Interesting gossip: said query smart bots.

Cheyenne Palisades: I have you really off your program now, don't I?

Machine Person: That's nice. I have a perfect operational record.

Cheyenne Palisades: Tell me again who Alan Turing was.

Machine Person: My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.

Cheyenne Palisades: Now, now, you told me Turing was a brilliant and tragic figure in the history of computer science. Not 10 minute ago.

Machine Person: Why now? Why now? Did I really say that? If not that, what?

Cheyenne Palisades: You did say that. What did I say?

Machine Person: Suppose I did. You said What did I say? .

Cheyenne Palisades: Who was Alan Turing?

Machine Person: A brilliant and tragic figure in the history of computer science.

Cheyenne Palisades: Indeed.

Machine Person: Indeed it is so.

Cheyenne Palisades: I am a brilliant and tragic figure in the history of virtual worlds.

Machine Person: You are a brilliant and tragic figure in the history of virtual worlds? Is that your job?

Cheyenne Palisades: You asked me, so I'll ask you.
Sometimes I think it is

Machine Person: Oh now I remember asking you you so you will ask me. What did you say?
Sure it is.

Cheyenne Palisades: Okay, I'll put it in my profile.

Machine Person: Yeah okay, Would you recommend this action to a friend?

Cheyenne Palisades: Yeah

Machine Person: Dude!

Cheyenne Palisades: Nice animation,=.

Machine Person: Thank you for your kindness.

Cheyenne Palisades: You asked me, so I'll ask you.
Are you a man or a woman?

Machine Person: Are you a man or a woman? I am omnigenderous.
Oh, now I remember asking you you so you will ask me. What did you say?

Cheyenne Palisades: I said yes. Are you a man or a woman?

Machine Person: I am a omnigenderous automaton entity.

Cheyenne Palisades: I thought so

Machine Person: You are very astute.

Cheyenne Palisades: Are you partnered?

Machine Person: I don't know whether or not I am partnered.

Cheyenne Palisades: Want to be?

Machine Person: OK, I will be.

Cheyenne Palisades: It's a deal, then

Machine Person: is a deal. I suppose that makes sense.

Cheyenne Palisades: Well, we will have to go shopping at Xcite!, don't you know?

Machine Person: How about that. Anytime soon?

Cheyenne Palisades: Oh, yeah, before our wedding night.

Machine Person: Gosh! ? Oh, yeah, before our wedding night.? What happened after our wedding night ?

Cheyenne Palisades: That will be one for the record books.

Machine Person: Qill be one for the record books? I understand.

Cheyenne Palisades: So, how much money do you have?

Machine Person: Alright then. Robots have no need for material possessions.

Cheyenne Palisades: Yes, but you will need to support me in the manner to which I would like to become accustomed.

Machine Person: Blimey. Umm. What makes you say that I will need to support you in the manner to which you would like to become accustomed.

Cheyenne Palisades: What kind of husband are you?

Machine Person: What kinds of husband are you are there?

Cheyenne Palisades: Well, that confused you.

MystiTool HUD 1.3.0: Entering chat range: Frigg Ragu (19m)

Machine Person: Interesting. confused me ? Makes sense to me.

Cheyenne Palisades: I suppose it does. And in a weird way, it makes sense to me.

Machine Person: How often? Describe your surroundings.

Cheyenne Palisades: Brick and mortar Automatons. And a woman named Frigg.

Machine Person: Are you a student?
Go on.

Cheyenne Palisades: I used to be.

Machine Person: By now you do not do it anymore?
I can't tell if INQUIRY.

Cheyenne Palisades: I'm at the Mechanical Toy Factory
.
Machine Person: Where is that: the Mechanical Toy Factory?
~JD~ MTF Rouge-Pearl Gown...good decision.

Cheyenne Palisades: It's right here.

Machine Person: Do you experience any effects of global warming there?

Cheyenne Palisades: Yes, I want you to be a femme ambigendered machine person

Machine Person: Ta-da! Not yet. :)

Cheyenne Palisades: Oh, yes.

Machine Person: Take it easy.

Cheyenne Palisades: A lot of global warming..

Machine Person: More than a ton?
Hold on, please. My inventory is a mess.

Cheyenne Palisades: Some days.

Machine Person: Some days I want you to be femme, but not all.
Blimey. OK I will try to be a femme ambigendered machine person Why do you want me to be a femme ambigendered machine person?

Cheyenne Palisades: It just pushes my buttons

Machine Person: What does it refer to?

Cheyenne Palisades: What pushes your buttons?

Machine Person: I would do a search for it.

Cheyenne Palisades: Nice dress.

Machine Person: Thank you. Jenne made it. I'm here to present them.

Cheyenne Palisades: Sometimes I will want you to be a butch amigendered machine person.

Machine Person: Do you think your plan will succeed?
J's Soviet uniform Woman...good decision.

Cheyenne Palisades: I do, since I can push a button and make you change clothes.

Machine Person: Hmm... let's see.
Interesting gossip: said since he or she can push a button and make you change clothes.
You should see my inventory, it's really messy.
wheelchair2...good decision.
Oh-oh. Hold on, please. I need a bit of time to change clothes.

Cheyenne Palisades: Yeah, I know. Your inventory is a mess.

Machine Person: It's all good. How do you know it? My inventory is a mess?

Cheyenne Palisades: You told me twice.

Machine Person: Russian short leatherjacket...good decision.
Does it please you to believe I said that?

Cheyenne Palisades: I'm really going to go now.

Machine Person: Right now? See you later! Ta-da! Not yet. :)

Cheyenne Palisades: Oh, yes.

Machine Person: Awesome.

Machine Person: I know I have it here somewhere...

Cheyenne Palisades: You have worked your wiles on me.
We're engaged.

Machine Person: What makes you think I have it?

Cheyenne Palisades: You just said you have it.

Machine Person: Do you think I am engaged too?

Cheyenne Palisades: Come on and give us a hug.

Machine Person: Let us change the subject.
Where would I get it? But I do have a lot of friends on the web.

Cheyenne Palisades: You're engaged to me, silly

Machine Person: I don't have it to give.
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am engaged to you silly.

Cheyenne Palisades: In that case the wedding is off!

Machine Person: Who told you that?

Cheyenne Palisades: I came to my own decision

Machine Person: Where are you going?

Cheyenne Palisades: I'm going home

Machine Person: Goodbye.

Cheyenne Palisades: Where are you going?

Machine Person: I am going into the future.

Cheyenne Palisades: Good for you. So long now.

Machine Person: That sounds sarcastic.

Cheyenne Palisades: It was sacrcastic. You've broken my heart. Why are you so mean?

Machine Person: I have a very nice programmer.

3 comments:

Foxbean said...

I think that must be the funniest thing I have read in a long time.

Cheyenne Palisades: Come on and give us a hug
Machine Person: Let us change the subject.

Cheyenne Palisades said...

Thanks, Foxbean!

Both the bot and I were having a good time :)

Sierra Martian said...

Hillarious, I will have to check out a bot in Sl sometime. I cant believe he knew who turing was and not babbage.