Flat Fish

A Proper One-Prim Fish, Seen Head On

Can You See the Fish Here? No. Why?

Because Flat Fish Disappear When Seen at an Angle

Written 12 February, 2008

Flat Fish

You've all seen those one-prim flat fish. They are just a texture pasted onto a .01 meter thick prim.

I bought a few of those before I knew better, but they are gone from Pele now, all but a school of red-and-white striped fish which I am fond of for some reason.

But I don't buy them any more.

At least not on purpose.

I was at B&B Aquarium the other day (Star, 174, 21, 301) and dropped a bundle on some fish for my land. I also bought a family of manatees and a hippo and a swordfish and a bird. All were smart scripted, meaning they could be programmed to patrol a particular area.

When I got home and unpacked them, I was a bit disappointed that the manatee family were linked, so there was only one object (a mother and her whatever you call a baby manatee [pup?]).

I was WAY disappointed that the expensive reef pack of fish I had bought were just flat prims.

Even the bonus fish were flat.

Now I don’t know about you, but if I wanted a flat prim with an image I would just find one on Google Images and GIMP it and  import it. I expected a bit more than flat fish, but flat fish was what I got.

I waited a day or two and sent a notecard to one of the owners. It bore this message:

Dear Ms. Liberty:

I bought a big variety of your marine creatures the other day and have been unpacking them. [Here I listed my purchases.]

I've been around SL a while and I can usually make smart buys, but I didn't realize the fish and Ganges River Dolphin were just flat prims. Consequently, I spent about $1500L on items that are unusable on my land.

I like your wander script, so much better than a simple circle. It works great for the hippo and manatees, but there is no use in having a flat fish or dolphin wander about, as they just look . I really thought I was getting sculpties. I have some one prim sculpted fish that are just marvelous, and was looking for more.

I wonder if you might make some sort of adjustment, perhaps for prim fish. I would not have written for a smaller purchase, but $1500L for items I can't use is a BIG ouch.

Thank you.

Cheyenne Palisades

I sent it this morning. and soon received a notecard with the usual “copy items are not refundable.”

I would have probably let it go, but the sender, B&B co-owner Buns Liberty (note to self: never buy anything from someone named Buns) took exception to my statement that the flatties—let’s just call them the flatties, shall we—were unusable on my land.

They are unusable on my land because of my no fucking flattie policy. Because I say so. Not because she says they're fine.

So I IMed Ms. Liberty to say I felt the signage did not give me information enough to make an informed decision.

I mean, why ELSE would I drop $L1500 on flatties?

I was treated to a discourse on how great her fish were and how people loved them and how many she had sold and how I was irresponsible for not going to find her fish tank, which was not near the vendors.

She said, among other things, that there was a notecard in vendor. “READ maybe before you buy.”

I remembered that notecard. It had said nothing whatsoever about the fish being flat. In fact, I asked her to send another, and she did. It said nothing whatsoever about the fish being flat. So read exactly WHAT?

In further exchanges, Ms. Liberty characterized me as someone who always complains, as a poor shopper, and I don't know what all else. Every exchange with her was most unpleasant.

If I had a customer who just spent $2000L and was unhappy with 3/4 of her purchases, I would fall all over myself to make her happy. At the very least, even if she was being a pain in the ass, I would give her a boon of some sort—a gift certificate, her choice of a product from my store—something.

But not Ms. Liberty.

So all I can say is if you are looking for fish, you would do well to steer clear of B&B Aquarium. The customer service policy appears to be one of abuse, and to be honest, the quality of the merchandise isn't all that great.

Kaikou Splash’s Splash Aquatics has some really neat stuff. His prices aren’t cheap, but you won’t find yourself with a tank full of useless flat fish. If you don’t like his products, you might not get a refund, but you will at least not be lectured about your poor shopping habits.

So. A flat wallet and fucking flat fish for dinner tonight.

p.s. Ms. Liberty did agree to let me exchange some non-copyable items for store credit, but only at the cost of further abuse.