The Bob Saga
II. The 911 Diaries
The following are official transcripts of Cheyenne Palisades' calls to the Linden Concierge Line on the evening of 29 September, 2010.
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G'day, and thank you for calling the Concierge 911 Line. How may I help you?
It's Bob! He's gone!
Bob is gone?
Yes! Bob's gone!
Bob, eh? Is Bob his User Name or his Display Name?
Neither. Bob is just Bob. Bob's a gigantic granite Paleolithic drinking bird.
Oh, so this is an inventory problem? You'll need to submit a ticket.
G'Day, and thank you for calling the Second Life Concierge 911 Line. We're all away being kajarae in Gor just now-- did I say that? I mean we're all in China just now for mandatory Linden re-education camp. M. did a lot of damage. Please leave a message at the tone.
G'Day, and thank you for calling the Concierge 911 Line. How may I help you?
Yes, Bob, our giant granite Paleolithic drinking bird. And no, it's not an inventory issue! Please don't hang up on me! He's missing from our land.
Did you reboot the sim?
Just a minute... Okay, the sim has been rebooted. Still no Bob.
Did you dump your cache?
Just a minute... Yes, cache was dumped. Still no Bob.
Did you uninstall and reinstall the client?
Just a minute... Yes, I uninstalled and reinstalled the client.
Did you submit a ticket?
Yes, I submitted a ticket.
G'Day-- it's you again, isn't it?
Er, has what's his name-- Bob-- turned up yet?
No. No Bob. I-- I think he's been stolen.
Okay, this is a rare occurrence and explicitly against our instructions, but I see you're paying us a LOT of money, so we'll help you. I need you to go directly to the scene of the crime. We'll send an inspector right over.