Sunday, August 1, 2010

I Did Like the Elephants

Written 1 August, 2010

I Did Like the Elephants

We tried to like it. We really did.

On Friday I got an IM request from someone who asked me to take a look at their sim and write a review. I said sure.

The sim is celebrating Indian Independence Day for two weeks, beginning today and I thought I had better get over there right away. So when Sweetie logged in, I took her touring.

I'm not mentioning the place by name, for reasons which should soon become obvious.

I have to say, Sweetie was much more assiduous in evaluating the sim than I was. I was ready to leave almost immediately.

It went something like this...

Sweetie: Okay, entry point blocked by huge unrezzed prims with high texture density.

Chey: Check. Entry isn't the best place to put an animated sculpted peacock. Five minutes we've been standing here and it looks like a collection of floating oblate spheroids.

Sweetie: Oblate spheroids! Oh, I love it when you talk sexy!

Chey: Okay, I'm starting to see stuff. Flat, boring terrain. Check.

Sweetie: There seem to be no local lights.

Chey: Check.

Sweetie: ... but arggh, there are a million prims set on full bright. Signs are EVERYWHERE!

Chey: Overuse of full bright. Check. No radio station set. Check. Look at the texture repeats on the pavement prim Way off scale!

Sweetie: They're used all their prims. Look at the sim statistics.

Chey: Gak! There are more than 7500 scripts! Script time is running 18 ms, and there's no Spare Time. Zero. And time dilation just dipped to .19 with only three avis in the region.

Sweetie: Be sure to tell your readers they can click on the statistics image and see it larger.

Chey: Tell readers. Check. What's this thing?

Chey: Oh, a spy device to get names of visitors. How charming. I wonder why they used four prims? And why they didn't turn it alpha or stick it in the ground or something.

Sweetie: No build. No script.

Chey: And no within-sim teleport. Check. Check. Check.

Sweetie: There are a million stores here. That's hard for the merchants.

Chey: This is the third time I've been hit with landmarks. And now I get an unwanted invitation to join a group. Check. Check. Things aren't looking good for this sim.

Sweetie: You didn't read the notecard they gave you all that closely, did you?

Chey: Sure I did! They're giving away $L30,000.

Sweetie: Read it again.

Chey: ... mumble, mumble, proud to announce, mumble, mumble, There is $L30,000 in prize money being offered, and the contest is open to all avatars in Second Life. Contestants will enter the contest through our Guru Voting System --

Chey: Guru voting system?

Sweetie: Keep reading.

Chey: ...adding a photo of themselves dressed in Indian wear. The photo must be taken [on the sim]. This is also a great opportunity for new photographers!

Sweetie: Keep reading.

... mumble, mumble, The entry fee is $L99 and voting fee is $L10. There will be daily prize of 5% of the total voting money to the highest vote getter. Shit! They're charging money to enter and charging money for votes.

Sweetie: Yep.

By now we were wandering about.

Chey: I'm done with this place. Can we go?

Sweetie: You know, this part of the sim is lovely, but it's almost impossible to get a photo because of all the signs.

Chey: I've been camming about. I think I managed to get a couple of shots by derendering some of the signs...

... but Emerald eventually ran out of derendering power. I'm done with this place. Can we go?

Sweetie: This is a nice entrance, but it's entirely spoiled by all these signs.

Sweetie: And for all their overuse of full bright, look at the ceiling...

Chey: Yeah, I see what you mean. They could have used something eye-catching up there. Underuse of full bright, check. Jeez, they're proud of their textures!

Sweetie: And yet they don't seem to mind appropriating the images of others. Notice the seller of these paintings is the first name on the sign.

Chey: This entire part of the building is a camera trap. I can't stand far away enough from these paintings to see them; my camera goes through the wall. Can we go now?

Sweetie: We can go.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Made me giggle!