Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Leveraged Buyout: Part XIIV. Denoument

The following is the transcript of the official Whimsy court reporter, the Whimsy Swear Jar. It hasn't been changed in any way.

Leveraged Buyout

Part XIIV: Denoument

Written 6 November, 2012

Sweetie, Dakota, and I were lying on the lounging rug at our House of 1000 Pleasures.

"Sweetie, you were brilliant!" Dakota said.

"Thanks, Dakota. So were you. But how did the covenant get changed back?"

"Oh, I'm a black hat. I've been with Anonymous these past couple of years. It took a while, but I got past Whimsy's firewall and replaced Tagg's doctored covenant with the original. Thank goodness, it was among the old lady clothes Chey gave me to hold for her."

I said, "Those. Were. Not. Old. Lady. Clothes."

"Whatever," Dakota said. She knows saying whatever just pisses me off.

"It's good to see you back on the grid, Dakota," Sweetie said. "What will you do now?"

"I don't know. I'm going to take Chey up on her offer to take me shopping, though. My look is outdated. Last time I was out someone inspected me and laughed at the creation date of my clothes. And then I suppose I'll go back in the box until Chey needs me again."

"Which may be never," I said through my teeth.

"The life of an alt, huh?" said Sweetie. "They forget about you until it's handy to rez you."

"Pretty much. Sweetie. You know, I can't get over Sleezy turning on Whimsy like that."

"Oh, she's just jealous of me. You see, the difference between us is she's a narcissist. I'm an egoist. She wants to look good so the world will revolve around her. I know the world will revolve around me no matter how I look. She doesn't understand the distinction."

"I should ban her," I said.

"No need," Sweetie said. "She won't be back unless we have another crisis to boost her career."

"Heaven forbid," I said.

"Well, I'm off to go shopping," Dakota said.

"Last time I looked," I said, "you had $3L. That won't go far."

"Oh, not to worry. I have $20,000L."

Sweetie snorted and rolled over laughing.

"Oh no, you don't!" I said. "That's my money."

"I'm considering it compensation for a job well done," Dakota said. "And besides, you promised." She teleported away before I could respond.

"You did promise," said Sweetie.

"Fine," I said. "I'll just eat Ramen noodles all month so I can make my tier to Linden Lab."

"Well, there are plenty of pineapples and coconuts here on Whimsy," Sweetie said. "which wouldn't have been the case if Taggmasster 2000 had gotten his way."

"I'll make it through somehow," I said, "but I'm already craving a Big Mac."

"Well, just snuggle up to me," she said. "I'll make it all better."

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