The Bob Saga: XXXV: Chey Visits MI-6

Written 29 October, 2010

The Bob Saga

XXXV: Chey Visits MI-6

"How do I look?" I asked.

"Like Casper the Friendly Ghost," Sweetie said.

Not long ago my bald hair base went rogue. Every time I put it on I unrezzed-- turned into a cloud of smoke. I saw me as a ghost and others saw me as a ghost. It drove me crazy until I figured it out, and figuring it out wasn't easy. I mean, you can't detach or unwear bald bases; you can only replace them. And who ever does that? One baldy is as good as another.

So I was a foggy ghost, appropriate enough for Halloween. To further disguise myself, I was using a hated display name. The name I had chosen was Sarah Palin. I selected it because I was pretty sure Diva identified with Palin's sociopathy. You betcha.

I had talked AlexHayden Jumponapila into getting me an audience with Q at MI-6 headquarters. Q had liked it when I arrived with a screen full of HUDS. I was wearing a Mystitool that would allow me to cage or trap Diva, and a HUD that would search the area for any prim named Bob. A purchased compass HUD and an altimeter HUD of my own devising would keep me oriented, and the built-in radar of the Mystitool would give me notice of nearby avatars.

I was immediately attracted to Q's watermelon gun. Watermelons are large and bulky and have a great deal of inertia, making them effective weapons in any area with push turned on. Q tried his best to talk me out of the watermelon gun.

"It's still in development," he said. "Highly unreliable. Can I interest you in this shoe dagger?"

"No."

"How about a garrote watch?"

"No."

"Exploding attache case?"

"Sweetie will be taking care of the explosives," I said.

"Folding electrocution chair?"

"Thank you, no."

"Voice changer?"

"Second Life already has one of  those. Does your suck as much?"

"I'm afraid so."

"Then no."

"Cake bomb?"

"Is it devil's food?"

"Sorry, no, carrot with cream cheese icing."

"Don't need it."

"Fountain pen gun?"

"No."

"Cigarette lighter camera?"

"No one smokes these days."

"Flamethrower hair spray can?"

"No."

"Those watermelon guns are tricky," Q said. "Seed shrapnel, you know. How about a nice Aston-Martin with revolving license plates and villain-catching bumper?"

"No."

"It has leather seats."

"NO."

"There are machine guns concealed behind the headlights."

"NO!"

"It also has the infamous oil slick feature."

"NO, NO, NO!"

"It's on your head, then," Q said. "I won't be responsible if that watermelon gun gets you into trouble."