A Three-Donut Vacation: V. Double-Naught

Symbol of Our Fearless Leader

Written 19 June, 2008

A Three-Donut Vacation

V. Double-Naught

“Why have you been moping about so?” This from Sweetie.

I’d been neglecting my appearance. My inventory was growing cluttered with objects called Object, and I hadn’t built anything in ages. “You know why,” I said.

“Why?”

“I’m just part of your cover,” I said accusingly. “I mean nothing to you. I’m just an assignment to you.”

“How could you think that?” Sweetie asked. “You know we were together before this TSA business started.”

“Gosh, that’s right,” I said, perking up.

“Yeah. I was first approached after that whole Sweetie vs. the United States of America thing. They said they liked my style.”

That made sense. But I felt terrible.

“But why wasn’t I recruited? I wanna be recruited!”

“Silly girl,” she said. “You were recruited.”

“Was that why you sent me that offer to join your group Sweetie’s Super Secret Spy Sorority?”

“Of course. You were the very first member of my cell. And shhh! Don’t say the name out loud.”

I felt inestimably better.

“Who recruited us?” I asked.

“Sssh! It’s a secret! A champion of personal freedom.”

“But who?”

“Promise not to tell?

“Cross my heart and hope to die.”

“Torley Linden. He always gets pulled aside by TSA because of his watermelon colors. It has turned him into a radical.”

“Good old Torley! It’s not easy being pink and green.”

“But you must never tell anyone.”

“Mum’s the word. But what happens now?” I asked.

“I’ve been holding off until we had all the free clothes we can handle. I was going to tell you tomorrow.”

“We’re going there,” I said, “aren’t we? To TSA headquarter?”

“Yes, Sweetie said. “There's a reason why Torley publishes so very many snapshots on FLICKR. I get my instructions there, in code. Torley is going to instruct us to infiltrate the secret world headquarters of the TSA.”