Monday, July 30, 2007

Torrent of Consciousness

James Joyce

William Faulkner

Bill Gates

Steve Jobs

All hail the Mighty Woz! (Notice How He Seems to be
In Second Life Flying [Hover] Pose!)

Written 30 July, 2007

Torrent of Consciousness

James Joyce and William Faulkner could take lessons from my Sweetie on stream of consciousness.

She doesn’t have a stream of consciousness so much as a torrent.

Following are chat notes from Skype messaging, stimulated by a rather spectacular crash by my computer. All comments, except the two I managed to slip in after I was back on line, are Sweetie’s.

You’ll see what I mean about a torrent.

oooh crash o matic
computer down!
Blank o rama
the restart of doom
lossssst iiiiiininnnnnn CYYYberspaaaaaaaaaaaaecceee!
danger danger cheyenne palisades
you are about to enter a world where sight and sound nave no meaning
welcome to
disconnected zone
da ba da baduh
look kids
a prehistoric display
this is from the time when people had to interface with computers that were outside their bodies
clumsy and old and unreliable
often the inhabitants of the microsoftocracy were doomed to spend hours disconnected from
loved ones
yes i know
look away
look away
the bad microsoft people are extinct now
except bill gates
he haunts the INTERNETS
crashing people who bad mouth him
it was uncovered long ago
that bill gates and Imsonotadiva Bartlett
were related
(audience gasps) it is true
she is the great
of bill gates’ dog
oh damn
just as i go into my very best rude wayne's world riff on bill gates, the purveyor of doom
... yes
Old billy's ghost itself strikes again from his cyber death star somewhere on his private internet grid
And takes you away
mr. gates actually long outlived the cyber life he had secretly planned for himself
but since 80% of his cyber life span has been crashed due to the new windows 9000...
9000 times the errors...
he has lived 80 % longer than anticipated in his original design
this coupled with the seven year delay from the time of Windows 9000’s announced release to the time
of the actual release extended his life well beyond even his own evil plans
and what did bill gates plan to do with his eternity?
well his main motivation
was a deep-seated rage
toward anything with apples
in fact, he had kind of a fruit breakdown
that led to the deforestation of every orchard in eastern washington
until bill gates realized
he could corner the market on the last remaining red delicious apple orchard
in existence
this he promised to deliver the world
parties were planned all over the globe for the release of mac apps 9000
but due to protracted lawsuits
from the equally preserved
and secretive and stubborn
steve jobs
who had decided his goal in life was to fulfill his own media hype as the god who brought
godlike powers of cool to all mankind
his designer counseled him it may take more than one quarter to be successful and avoid
another iPhone disaster
so he created iLife
the easily programmed, white plastic cube
with a scrolling wheel that let him flick through the days of his life.
wait a minute, i know that title from somewhere
i have it
I days of his life
the idays of his life
as long as he never got more than three hours from the nearest charger
of course we know this display will be controversial
many will deny the existence of the wizened cyber barons

Cheyenne Palisades says: However, unknown to both Jobs and Gates, the frozen head of Apple
co-founder Steve Wozniak had plans of its own

... dueling it out one line of code at a time
they never saw
the IWOZ
coming to blow them both to smithereens
while creating the worldwide viral youtube sensation video
“Dancing on the Heads of my Enemies,” LIVE from his own private global rock extravaganza
and that, kiddies
is the story of the founding of WOZ world
all hail the Woz
supreme ego
of wozi land
bringer of all innovations
and self prooter extraordinaire


Cheyenne Palisades says: I preferred prooter

... and a major contributor to this exhibit
ok, kids, next on our tour.....
* end of line


Sweetie said...

Hehe - I was being Very silly that night :) It is why We are called
.........oops . Almost gave myself away :)

--one moment while We pause for an overly perky announcement but brief announcement---

Think you have what it takes to be a member of sweeties secret society? Just try our simple test. Complete these free associations then mail it in or even better sending to us via privately folded paper airplane or something else deliciously ludicrous.

My own personal planet was a charming place. Full of _________ and __________________. But then one day that _______ ___________ came and ______________________.

When I think of __________________ it make me want to ________________. And what was up with that ____________?

You too can learn to be silly. Call for your free brochure today.

Sweetie :)

Wilhelmina Yoshikawa said...

I should have guessed it was Bill Gates in the photo 3. LOL!

Wilhelmina Yoshikawa said...

PS: Doesn't your Sweetie have a blog yet? I wish she had! Having a blog is fun! :-)

Cheyenne Palisades said...

Wilhelmita, with Sweetie it's all off the cup. She runs through her rants and then the vanish into thin air unless I manage to get the recorder on or talk her into saving her chat notes. She actually made a blog about juicing but soon discovered it was more fun to juice than to write about it.

Cheyenne Palisades said...

Er, off the cuff.