It's Not Easy Being a Hard-Luck French Robot Barman
Written 28 October, 2012
Meet Yves, the newest addition to our staff.
His name, the beret, and his Salvador Dali mustaches suggest he is of French origin-- and that's true. We have a liberal immigration policy here on Whimsy.
Yves is eager to please his customers, but he's a test model and the kinks aren't all worked out. When you touch him you get a blue menu full of drinks (all French, of course). When you select one he acknowledges your choice, then moves away to make it. All goes well until his arm falls to the top of the bar with a clatter.
Let's let Yves speak for himself.
"Ah, bounjour messeuers et madames. Enter. May I make you a delicious apertif? Just touch me for a menu.
"Ah, cognac! Excelent choice! We have Vieille Réserve from the famous Fins Bols-- rare and delicieux!
My robot girlfriend once ran out of lubricating oil and substituted Rémy Martin. She ran fine for a while but then her transmission failed. She was too drunk to care.
"I go now to make your delicious libation.
"MON DIEU! MY ARM, SHE HAS FALLEN OFF! BUT I'M OKAY, IT'S ONLY A FLESH WOUND.
"Don't worry. I will still be able to prepare your delicious libation.
"Let us hope this unfortunate incident won't effect my tip!
"I now 'appily make your drink.
"SACRE BLEU! MY HEAD! MY HEAD, SHE HAS TAKEN LEAVE OF MY BODY! ROBOT NEEDS ASSISTANCE!
You can commiserate with Yves at his job station high above Whimsy. Go here for a direct teleport, but it's more fun to start here. Summon the elevator bot and ride to the top of the blimp tower, then walk the ramps and rez a little train to ride to our PG Den of Iniquity. You'll find Yves just through the doorway, eager to please. He won't succeed.