The Kaboom Bird

Written 6 May, 2008

The Kaboom Bird

Before there was a steam engine, there was the Kaboom bird.

The Giant Whimsy bobbing bird is named Bob, Kaboom’s bobbing bird was to be named Rocky.

That was my plan, anyway. But Rocky turned out to be a girl bird.

I didn’t set out to make her female. She just turned out that way. One of those mysteries of creation, I guess.

It probably wouldn’t be fair to name a giant bobbing girl bird Rocky; all the other giant bobbing birds would make fun of her. So we’re at a loss for a name. I would appreciate any suggestions. Until her christening, she’ll just be the Kaboom bird.

Nah, let’s not be sexist. Girls can be called Rocky, too. So it’s decided. Her name, or maybe her nickname, is Rocky.

Rocky it is.

Nope, nope, nope. Rocky was just vetoed by Sweetie, who has veto power at Whimsy and hates the name Rocky for both boy and girl giant bobbing birds. I think it’s because she hasn’t quite yet surpassed Sylvester Stallone’s body count in Rambo.

She was one-up on Stallone, but then they releasedthe new Rambo movie and she’s been moping about every since, polishing her katana and looking at passing avies as if they were candidates for her head count. As they might be. She hates the name Rocky by extension.

We tossed around a lot of girls’ names, looking for one that conveyed motion, and settled on Ilene.

Ilene is my first prim sculpture—or sculpture of any type. I can’t even make a donut out of Play Doh; how I made Rocky—I mean Ilene— will always puzzle me. Even Sweetie was impressed.

“This from a person who is forever telling me she has trouble visualizing things in three dimensions,” she snorted.

Ilene stands about half again as tall as her cousin Bob, and she perches on a platform which raises her an additional six or seven meters. The cart does the actual rocking; Ilene just goes along for the ride.

When I started work, I had but a vague notion about Ilene. She would be a giant bobbing bird, and she would have steampunk elements. That’s about all I knew about her. But from the moment I rezzed her first prim, she seemed to direct my movements. In little more than 30 minutes, there she was in full metal glory, complete from red flexy eyes to a tail made from peacock feathers to feet with a reptilian scale texture I found on the internet and made seamless.

But how to make her bob? Unlike Cousin Bob, she wasn’t hinged in the middle; she was a statue.

Sweetie helped out by building the platform on which Ilene stands and laid in prims for gears and rods to provide motion.

I let Ilene sit for a couple of days while my brain sorted through various ways of constructing a way-cool apparatus to power her.

By day two, I had it—or most of it. And “it” would require a steam engine.

Fashion Disaster

Written 6 May, 2008

Fashion Disaster

I came into Nicky Ree’s shop with fresh batteries in my camera and the lens cover already off.

Because Sweetie had IMed me to give me a heads up.

“Fashion emergency!” she warned me.

And indeed, it was!

OMG!

This woman (we will give her the benefit of the doubt, even considering those broad shoulders) was wearing a skimpy outfit, tons of tattoos, and demo hair. Her eyes were dark slits. And in her hand was a certain er, appliance, in baby blue.

And when her AO caused her to rub her hair, guess which hand went to her head?

When Sweetie and I see people who are in obvious need of fashion help, we offer advice and free outfits. This case, however, was terminal.

“Our kindnesses will be better spent elsewhere,” I said.

“Agreed,” said Sweetie. “Can I cut off her head?”

One of my favorite websites is SL Fashion Police, which I came to by way of my friend Melissa Yeuxdoux’s blog. SLFP is screamingly funny and totally politically incorrect, as it makes fun of the cartoonish, buffoonish, and just plain unfashionable ways people proportion and decorate their avatars.

But then again, no one is born with an avie that is shaped like an upside-down pear or dressed like a blingtard, so maybe the fashion police’s suspects are more than deserving of the considerable derision they elicit.

I sure hope I never wind up in a fashion police lineup!

No Pants!

Written 11 May, 2008

No Pants!

In her usual kind and gentle manner, Sweetie has pointed out that my pose on the Whimsy Sungate sign is less than appropriately chaste.

Actually, we were on Skype and I heard her laughing her ass off.

She tells me it looks like I'm wearing no pants. Thank you very much, I'm wearing a peach-colored outfit from W&M. I took off the prim skirt so it wouldn't obscure the sign.

And it doesn't either look like the sign is going up my butt.

Does it?

Whimsy Historical Markers

Written 10 May, 2008

Whimsy Historical Markers

The official story of Whimsy has Sweetie and I winding up on its deserted shores after a freak "routine downtime" teleport accident. They were so impressed by the Paleolithic stone tiki drinking bird they decided to move there.

So we had to have a drinking bird.

Now we do. His name, appropriately enough, is Bob.

We felt a sign was called for to tell this story, and what better than one of thos historical markers one sees by the roadside?

So Chey built a marker and has put it at a half-dozen or so important sites around Pele. Here are some of the signs.

RSS Feeds (A Post from Sweetie)

Written 9 May, 2008

RSS Feeds (A Post from Sweetie)

This is a test....

We now pause to provide you with a critical tech tip announcement from Sweetie!

Like our blog? Love our blog? Do you get the shakes like Sweetie when you
think you might miss even a single brilliant new entry?

Why not subscribe.. For free! No need to give us any information. The
site is set up for RSS feeds!

RSS, if you have never tried it (don't be like our one and only Chey (GASP!), is a simple way to keep up-to-date with news.

RSS is the abbreviation for Really Simple Syndication. It's a notification system used to alert subscribers to changes made to their favorite web sites, blogs, music, or news sites.

It's easy to discern an RSS-enabled site because somewhere on the page will be an orange rectangular button labeled with either RSS or XML.

You need three things to use RSS:

1. A website set up to sent out RSS info.

2. You have to click the button and subscribe.

3. You have to have an RSS Reader.

This blog is set up for RSS, so no problem there. Somewhere on your
browser screen, you'll see one of the many RSS symbols (I have given
examples in the picture at the head of this post).

Click the symbol and confirm you want to subscribe. Step 2 is done!

Finding an RSS reader these days is simple as can be. In fact, you
probably already have one, you just don't know it.

All the major internet browsers, Internet Explorer 7, Safari and
Firefox (Sweetie's personal favorite because it has tabs and her cool
"old factory" skin) and Opera (Chey's favorite because she favors the underdog) have a reader built in. As soon as you subscribe
you get a "live" bookmark.

As depicted in the picture of Sweetie's browser above, the bookmark tracks all the latest titles as separate links that take her straight to that blog entry.

Don't have one of the major browsers? There are also web-based RSS
readers. Google offers a free reader that can track and organize
multiple subscriptions. But web- based readers don't burden your system
with another program like some-stand alone RSS programs used to, and
you can check it from any computer.

So go ahead! Subscribe and never miss a moment in the adventures of Sweetie!

(Chey clears her throat loudly)

Or any of the brilliant writing shared with us by the one and only
master muse, our hostess and bard of the blogosphere, Cheyenne
Palisades!

Woo Hoooooooooo!

All Fall Down

Written 9 May, 2008

All Fall Down

Don't you just hate it when this happens to you?

What's a Warrant?

Written 9 May, 2008

What's a Warrant?

The Whimsy Kaboom sim was raided last night by officer Scissors Peccable, who used his amazing ability to multitask to play eight officers in four vehicles.

Scissors said he was cruising by and thought he smelled marijuana. He didn't have a search warrant.

"What's a warrant?" he asked.

"What's marijuana?" we asked.

Robot Mishap

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Written 9 May, 2008

Robot Mishap

Rosie the robot (you may remember her from her former employment as the Jetsons' housemaid (has been hanging out at Whimsy, hoping we will hire her to tidy up after us.

I'm not sure what a housemaid would do in SL. Pick up abandoned prims, I suppose. Anyway, we decided to give her a go. And then wouldn't you know it, but ANOTHER Rosie showed up asking for a job. So we hired her to be the first Rosie's supervisor, even though we had a feeling she would be too strict.

She's earning her keep, too. This morning the second Rosie caught the first Rosie being clumsy. I'm afraid she went a bit overboard with her reprimand. We have pictures to prove it. And there's an eyewitness.

So we're going to let Rosie 2 go.

Rosie 2 says it's not her fault, it's the fault of who ever programmed her. Can you believe that excuse?

-----

If you want a Rosie, or both, or the entire scenario. IM me. I built them only this morning and they're not yet set for sale. You can see them for now at Whimsy.

Signs, Signs, Everywhere a Sign

Written 22 April, 2008

Signs, Signs, Everywhere a Sign

Signs, Signs, everywhere a sign
Blocking out the scenery
Breaking my mind
Do this
Don’t do that
Can’t you read the sign?

-- Five Man Electrical Band

Perhaps the most significant thing about Five Man Electrical Band is there were actually five members, a miracle for the day. Oh, well…

The sign read “Cuts,
$10.00. Kiz, $6.00."

Kiz?

The South is famous for its misspelled signs—in fact, I’ve often suspected intelligent, well-educated Sons of the South in going out of their way to telegraph their language and misspell their signs to confuse those not fortunate enough to have been born below the Mason-Dixon line. I mean, it sort of makes sense to say gummit, far, and tard instead of government, fire, and tired? I mean, there’s a savings of six letters in three words!

But kiz?

Kiz?

Has the sign painter really going around his entire life talking about the wife and kiz? Kiz stuff? Getting the kiz off to school? “You kiz stop that before I whup you!” Surely not!

But almost certainly yes.

For some reason that sign got me to thinking about Second Life, and in particular signs in Second Life.

I hate a lot of signs in Second Life—those huge rotating For Sale signs in particular. Many are ugly, and many surpass the limits of good taste. I mean, the other day I wandered into what seemed to be a respectable clothing store, only to be confronted with row after row of signs of butt skirts! Butt skirts! Trauma! I had to call Sweetie and ask her to teleport in blindfolded and rescue me.

Sweetie arrived promptly, fashionably attired in camouflage gear and carrying her infamous katana. “Step away from the butt skirt,” please ma’am,” she said, and she meant it.

For every offensive sign, if course, there’s one that serves a utilitarian purpose: “Freebies!” “Caution! Sim Crossing” “Pattie’s Peppermint Palace.” “Happy Rez Day, Albatross Redgrave!”

And then there are the signs that are just funny, the whimsical signs. I would make a long list here, but I’ve few pictures of such, so I’ll just treat you to a few of my own (in a blog to follow this one).

When I bought Pele a year and a half ago, I realized quirky signs could liven up the place. And so I pulled out my rusty trusty ancient version of Quark Xpress and got down to it. Soon the landscape was littered with signs.

We’re being more systematic with our signage at Whimsy, but I’m once again using Quark Xpress to make silly signs.

So I jumped on the fence
And I yelled at the house
Hey! What gives you the right
To put up a sign to keep people out
And to keep Mother Nature in
If God was here he’d tell you to your face
Man, you’re some kind of sinner!