Saturday, September 19, 2009

The Breakout

Written 19 September, 2009

The Breakout

We've been on the lam for two weeks now.

I never had to hide out before.

It's sort of fun.

When my plane landed in New York I made my way immediately to Ryker's Island, where Sweetie was being held without bail. By representing myself as her court-appointed public defender, I was able to get in to see her.

They checked me thoroughly for files, knives, firearms, and explosives, but obviously they didn't think the tiny flash drive I was carrying could be a threat.

Little did they know.

That drive contained a copy of the latest intergrid teleportation software, a collaboration between Linden Lab, IBM, and OpenSim It was a pre-beta release, the super-secret Version 1.23.007, the first release to allow direct teleports between Second Life and Earth. I passed it to Sweetie, and she immediately plugged it into her built-in USB port. In her thumb. Literally, a thumb drive.

"I sure hope the Grid isn't down," I whispered.

"I'm in," she said.

"Read the release notes," I said. "You can port your Second Life avatar over, with inventory and all powers intact. Except for flexiprims. They've not quite got that worked out yet."

Within seconds Sweetie-- the real Sweetie, in all her idiosyncratic glory-- was standing in front of me.

"I told you coppers you couldn't keep me in here," she sneered, and went nonphysical and walked out, going through the bars, a couple of doors, and past an astonished trustee.

"Escapee! Don't let her get away!" shouted a guard. He pulled a lever and bright spotlights hit Sweetie. Immediately the guards in the towers began firing their machine guns at her. The bullets went right through her nonphysical form.

Sweetie could have gotten away easily, but we're talking spotlights here. We're talking diva. As soon as she was in the spots she stopped, smiled, and waved magnanimously at her adoring, bullet-firing, uniformed admirers.

"I love boys in blue," she said, making a deep curtsy.

And then she walked through the outer fence and was gone.

And me? I got grilled by the warden, but he eventually had to let me go.

As soon as I was away I found an internet cafe and logged into SL. There was Sweetie.

"I'm never leaving here again," she said.

"But you have to," I protested. "We have a secret mission."

"It's not the donut grid again, is it?" she asked dubiously. "Those damn Krispy Kremes really pile on the pounds-- something that would never happen in Second Life."

"No, no," I said hurriedly. "There are no donuts involved whatsoever. This is an entirely different mission."

"Well, are you going to tell me what it is?"

"Sure, I said. "As soon as I can make up something utterly ridiculous."

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