Friday, February 6, 2009

Dirty Movies at the Robot Sanitarium

Robbie was notorious for his shoe fetish.

Media Controller at the Robot Sanitorium

Gene Autry tweaks what passes for a nipple on a Murian robot.

Written 29 January, 2009

Dirty Movies at the Robot Sanitorium 

One thing I like about oh-so-logical computers is inductive logic still has its place.

I was having difficulty getting my script to reliably change the media URL on Whimsy Kaboom. I had to try twice or even three times before it worked. Then, for no empirical reason other than why not, I called the same URL twice. There was no particular reason why I should have tried it or why it should worked, but work it did. Now video streams change properly.

I know, I know, I know I promised no more posts about scripts—but this is really a blog about videos.

Really. Read on.

I wanted the educational component of the Robot Sanitorium to feature movie trailers, clips from TV shows, and other robot-related material. I was expecting to find maybe 10 clips I could use. Happily, I found thousands of robot videos on YouTube (I have a way of streaming YouTube videos).

I placed my huge flat screen against a wall in the basement of the sanitorium and have been busily configuring a dozen or so buttons to play videos. Themes include movie trailers and clips, TV, science, history, music, educational features, short films, and robot sex. Because I like both movies, there are separate buttons for Fritz Lang’s Metropolis and The Day the Earth Stood Still (the 1953 version). Touching any of the buttons brings up a blue menu that gives you many choices; there are nearly 100 selections in total.

Wait a minute—did you say robot sex?

I did. I said robot sex.

Robots have sex?

Oh, yeah, with one another, and with humans, and all by themselves.


Selecting the videos for the robot sex category was a challenge. I didn’t want to cross the line into hardcore robot porn (I’m quite sure there are hardcore robot porn videos, I just couldn’t bring myself to check. I take it on faith). I didn’t reject clips simply because they showed a little robot action—there’s a bit of that—but I tried to keep the actual robot sex at a tasteful level. Most of the selections are funny or whimsical, or both, and most of the sex is implied rather than graphic.

So please don’t come to the Robot Sanitorium just to watch sexy robot films.

But if you like robots, sexy or otherwise, come check out the robot sanitorium on Whimsy Kaboom.

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